Unwanted Heat

Nicholas

Last night I ended up having to work until long after Kenzie went to bed, and then once I finally finished, I came to bed to find her lying on top of the blankets in this… sheer little thing. With the moon light shining through the French doors I could almost entirely see through the outfit she was wearing. God, all I wanted to do was wake her up and get inside of her. I haven’t been able to keep my hands off of her this trip-it’s like I need to touch her. I’ve never been the touchy feely type; I’ve never felt the need to touch a woman unless we’re fucking. Yet, with Kenzie, I find myself looking for reasons just to touch her. Whether it’s holding hands, like fucking teenagers when we walk, or my hand on her back, I just can’t help but touch her.

It took everything in me not to wake her up, strip off the little outfit she was wearing and sink deep inside of her. I didn’t though… part of me is still convinced that if we cross that line, things will change between us. She’s not the type of woman who can separate sex and emotions, I know she’s not. I can’t have things getting messy between us… messier than they already are.

But waking up like this, with her wrapped around me, makes me wonder if we haven’t already crossed that line. Yet again, we had somehow drifted towards each other during the night and were now sleeping in the center of the bed pressed up against each other. Her head was on my pillow, her leg rested on top of mine, and her hand under my shirt on my stomach.

I slip out of the bed but not before taking one final look at her sleeping peaceful, free from any nightmares. I can’t help but wish things were different between us-that this contract didn’t exist, that there wasn’t so much on the line with it. That I could give her everything she wants. That I could give her that emotional connection she would want if we slept together. That it wouldn’t just be fucking to me… that I could give her something more like she deserves. That it wouldn’t complicate things even more than they already are between us.

I head out to the living room and check my email. Alex confirmed he was available to talk today about the proposal, which shouldn’t take long. I respond to a few other emails, making notes of various things that I need to touch base with him about when we talk.

“You’re up early,” Kenzie comes out of the bedroom, thankfully fully dressed and no longer wearing the nearly see through nightie from last night.Property belongs to Nôvel(D)r/ama.Org.

“Work,” I shrug. “I wasn’t able to get everything done last night.”

“Did you want me to put an order in for breakfast then?”

“No, let’s go out. I need to step away from this stuff anyway.”

“If you’re sure you can…”

“I’ll go change.”

I take a shower and quickly get dressed before meeting her in the kitchen where she is waiting for me. We head out on the golf cart to the breakfast buffet that the resort offers for all of its guests. I’m usually not a fan of buffets but given the very limited number of guests that are on the island, the food is a much higher quality than what you would normally find at a hotel. We each grab a plate and serve ourselves before finding a table to sit at.

“I have a conference call today that, unfortunately, I need to be on. I’ve booked you an appointment at the spa while I’m on the call-”

“You didn’t need to do that. I could have gone swimming or something while you were busy. It really isn’t necessary.”

“I know, but I didn’t want you to be bored while I was working. This way you get to do something for yourself while I’m working. I’ll drop you off at the spa before the appointment and pick you up afterwards. If you finish early the store is in the same building, everything can be charged directly to our room.”

“I can’t think of anything I need, but thank you for arranging the appointment at the spa.”

“No problem.”

“Is everything going okay at PFS while you’re gone, otherwise?”

“Yes, surprisingly well. I’ve never gone away for a week before, so this has been a new experience for all of my staff.”

“You’ve never gone on vacation?”

“No, not for an entire week anyway. I have a house in Vermont that I’ve spent some time at, but I usually schedule to be there over a long weekend so my time away from the office is minimal. But even during those times, I’m never really away from the office, not like I am here. When I’m in Vermont, I have a fully functioning office just like at home, so I can immediately take care of anything that comes up.”

“I can’t believe you’ve never gone on vacation before.”

“When we were little, of course we did, but since starting PFS my focus has been on building the company. Vacations weren’t a priority,” I shrug.

“Well, then this is kind of a first for both of us: I’ve never been on vacation before and you haven’t been on vacation since starting PFS.”

“Surely, you took vacations when you were little?”

“No, never. The only times we stayed in hotels was when we were between places to live, and trust me, they were never in a place where you would want to take a vacation to.”

“I’m sorry, Kenzie…”

“This trip more than made up for not going on vacations as a child,” she laughs.

“In the winter, we’ll plan a trip to Vermont. It’s really beautiful up

there-”

“You don’t have to-”

“It’ll give me a reason to go; when I bought the house, I thought I would be able to go much more often than I do.”

“How come you haven’t gone more often? If the house has a full office, you could have worked from there if something came up?”

“I could,” I admit pondering how to tell her the reason I didn’t go was because I really had no one I wanted to go with, without sounding like a fool. “I guess, it just wasn’t a priority. Whenever Cara, Austin or my parents wanted to go they would go, and sometimes I would join them, but sometimes I wouldn’t. I think I just let PFS take over my life.”

“It’s easy to see how that could happen, but you really should try to take more time for yourself, Nicholas. I’m sure it isn’t healthy to work as much as you do without a break.”

We finish our breakfast in a comfortable silence and head back to the villa. Until having breakfast with Kenzie, I never realized how I have taken vacations in general for granted. Hearing that she had never been on a vacation before this trip, really hit me hard. I know she had a shitty childhood, but I figured that at some point she must have at least had a long weekend vacation somewhere. My parents took us on a vacation every year, even if it was just a weekend camping trip-they made sure we went somewhere and had fun. Some of my fondest memories growing up are of adventures we had together.

“According to the flyer the staff left, it looks like they’re having live music tonight on the main beach,” Kenzie points out.

“Did you want to go?”

“If you think you’ll be done with work by then? If not-”

“After my conference call, I don’t foresee anything else coming up while we’re here this week. It looks like they’re making an entire night of it, with dinner and music. We’ll plan to go.”

“Oh, good!”

A couple of hours later, I have dropped Kenzie off at the spa with strict instructions to text me when she is ready to come back to the villa. I’m not too worried about security on the island-Narter only came so that we would have security if we decided to leave the island. Had I known how much they had to do on the island itself, I probably would have given him the week off since there really isn’t a need for us to leave the island. A few minutes after I start up my computer, my Skype is alerting me that Alex is ready for our call. We review the financials before deciding to move forward with the proposal.

Alex: So, tell me, how is everything going with Kenzie on your fake honeymoon. By the way, the press are fucking having a field day over your announcement.

Nicholas: Everything is so fucked up, I don’t even know where to begin.

Alex: What happened? Are you and Kenzie not getting along as well as you were before you left? Cause I have to tell you, the way you too were all over each other at The Summit, I expected you to be in bed together that night.

Nicholas: We’re getting along great… better than… Alex: So what’s the problem?

Nicholas: We’ve become… close this week. Much closer than we were before.

Alex: Spending twenty-four seven with someone will do that man. (chuckles)

Nicholas: I guess.

Alex: How is she handling your nightmares?

That’s what happens when you try to share a dorm room with someone at college. It lasted two nights before I begged my parents to let me move off campus-I was stupid to think living on campus would stop the nightmares. I just wanted to live in the dorms… to be normal. Instead, Alex got a front row seat to how fucked up I was. He didn’t bat an eye at it though, instead, he insisted that we look for a two bedroom apartment off campus to rent together. Nicholas: Fuck.

Alex: What?

Nicholas: I didn’t have one last night either.

Alex: Didn’t have what?

Alex: When was the last time you had a nightmare?

Nicholas: (sighing) The night before our wedding.

Alex: Have you ever gone this long without a nightmare?

Nicholas: No.

Alex: Why do you think the nightmares have stopped? What’s so different about Fiji? Besides the beach, the views and everything else of course.

Nicholas: Kenzie.

Alex: Huh? How is being in Fiji right now any different than being in New York? Kenzie lived with you for what, about two weeks before the wedding right? I’m sure you still had nightmares then, right?

Nicholas: We’re sleeping together now.

Alex: (Cough) I’m sorry, I must have misheard you. Did you just say that you were sleeping together?

Nicholas: You heard correctly.

Alex: What brought about this change? In all the years I’ve known you, despite all the women you brought home, I’ve never known you to actually sleep with one of them. You were always too worried about… Nicholas: I never have.

Alex: What changed?

Nicholas: I have no fucking clue.

Alex: You haven’t had any nightmares since the wedding?

Nicholas: Yes, that’s what I said!

Alex: Why?

Nicholas: I don’t fucking know!

Alex: It sounds like things between you and Kenzie changed quite a bit on this trip. Are you starting to think of her as more than just a business arrangement, like you originally said it was?

Nicholas: No… I mean… FUCK! I don’t know.

Alex: What has changed?

Nicholas: We’ve become even better friends; we’ve both opened up more… to each other.

Alex: She knows about your nightmares? About why you have them?

Nicholas: She does.

Alex: Wow.

Alex: Have your feelings toward Kenzie changed since you’ve been gone?

Nicholas: Of course. I told you that we’ve have become closer.

Alex: That’s not what I asked.

Nicholas: I don’t know how I fucking feel! Alex: Have you fucked her yet?

Nicholas: What?!?! Of course not!

Alex: You’re offended that I would ask?

Nicholas: I am!

Alex: Since what’s-her-name, you’ve only been interested in fucking women. I just assumed you’ve fucked her by now-

Nicholas: Stop talking about Kenzie like that!

Alex: Based on your reaction, I’m going to assume that you haven’t fucked her yet.

Nicholas: No, I have not fucked Kenzie.

Alex: You don’t want to?

Nicholas: I don’t want to fuck Kenzie, no! She deserves better than that! She isn’t the type you just fuck.

Alex: So things haven’t changed physically between you two? You’re just sharing a bed but nothing more?

Nicholas: What are you asking? I already told you we haven’t had sex!

Alex: I’m just wondering since the press isn’t around, if you’re still putting up the act. Are you still physical with her even though no one is watching? Or are you two still just strictly friends?

Nicholas: No, we’re not! We’re making out like two horny high school teenagers! Is that what you want to hear? That I can’t keep my fucking hands off of her? That I can’t stop thinking about her? Because that’s what it’s been like since right before the wedding!

Alex: Were you like this with-

Nicholas: NO! Never! I’ve never been so… no one has ever gotten under my skin the way Kenzie does! I’ve never wanted to protect someone as much as I want to with her. I’ve never wanted to sleep with a woman before. I’ve never… felt like this before.

Alex: Do you love her?

Nicholas: No! Of course not!

Alex: Are you sure?

Nicholas: Yes, I’m fucking sure! I told you, after everything that she put me through, I’m never going to fall in love again! I’m never going to risk losing everything again, not for a woman, not for anyone ever again.

Alex: Sometimes people fall in love without realizing it’s even happening.

Nicholas: I’m not falling in love with Kenzie! I can’t fall in love with her!

“Um… I just wanted to grab my bathing suit,” Kenzie quietly walks past me and into the bedroom.