Unforgiven Sins

Cinyla’s POV

I woke up early even though it is too early for my work. I sit temporarily on the sofa next to my bed. When I looked at the clock on the other table next to me, it was three in the morning. It’s too early to wake up, but here I sit and think about that man.

Why everytime I see you, you look so amazing? Why do you make my heart beat so fast like this? Unbelievable!

I know he had a purpose for coming yesterday to our house, but supposedly when I tried to tease him with my simple actions, I knew it. But my heart tells me something, I feel different, and my mind is also different. My heart starts beating so fast and I am now thinking that his love is genuine. I touch my heart. Wait, what am I feeling?

Calm down, heart! You shouldn’t fall for him significantly. Your plans will be ruined. It’s like I’m losing my mind to dictate my feelings and think that all being nice and sweet to him is just part of the plans.

Honestly, I don’t want to fall in love anymore after what happened to me, I feel like they’re just as good at the beginning. They are good at promising, but when things get hard they cannot stand it, they will forget it. I decided to sleep for a while because the time was already 3:45 in the morning.

******

I already get up when my alarm was creating a loud noise, then when I look for it, it was already 7:00 in the morning. I take a bath for almost 20 minutes. After everything that I do, I go downstairs to say goodbye to my mom.

“Mommy, I need to go to work. Just keep safe here.”

She stopped what she was doing and looked at me. “It’s too morning darling, aren’t you going to eat?”

I smiled before speaking, “I am not a hungry mom, besides I want to finish my work right now. Alright, mom, I’m leaving.” I waved and said goodbye. I directly went straight out to wait for a service.

While waiting for a ride, I looked at my red car inside. Actually, it’s been five years since I stopped driving. I also stopped because I feel like I could crash anytime, especially because I often think about something. To be honest, I didn’t totally give up driving, I just didn’t want to remember daddy who was one of the reasons why I learned.

After a while, a car stopped in front of me.

“Hi Cinyla! Let’s go, I will be your driver for now,” said Joshua.

“Why are you here?” I asked because I didn’t think he would be here and. “I was just having a road trip, like I just want to have a relaxing moment then suddenly I remembered your house over here. Then I saw you waiting here for a taxi, right? So come on, get in.”

Because it was bad to refuse grace and I also agreed and quickly got into this fabulous car because of its beauty.

I was about to sit in the back but he said, “Just sit here in the front next to me so I can talk to someone.”

“Huh?”

“Just stay here at the front so we can talk.” he re-explained because I am having a hard time to  understand of what he had said the first time.

I just nodded and sat next to him because I had to get to the office. “Thank you, Joshua.” I smiled while looking at him.

But it only came closer because I closed my eyes. “Always wear your seatbelt for your safety.” He put the seatbelt on me and I opened my eyes. My thoughts are shameful! I didn’t think that was the only thing he would do. “Ohh, thank you, Joshua. I’ll fix it, you just drive,” I answered shyly and adjusted the seatbelt carefully around my body.

He just smiled mischievously and drove off. “Why are you here?” I asked seriously. “Nothing, just someone who is going to go to a place near your office. Don’t you want me to take you, Cinyla?” I just swallowed at his simple question.

There was silence between the two of us for a few seconds until he spoke on his own. “Honestly, I just came here to visit you and I remembered that you have school. So I decided to just drop you off because that’s where I’m going.” It turned and I noticed that I was close to the office.

“Here we are, are you okay? You’re so quiet,” he said and he pulled his car aside.

“O-Of course! I’m just shocked but thanks for delivering it to the office. Don’t worry, everything we talked about is clear to me.” I give him assurance because I know he is worried about me. Joshua is my closest friend in college and I know how thoughtful he is.

“You’re always welcome, Cinyla. Just do what I told you, I don’t want you to get hurt.”

I nodded and smiled at what he said. He is a true friend of mine, he is also very reliable at all times. I adjusted my seat and was currently removing the seatbelt that was on my body, but he suddenly came to stop me. “Let me do it,” he said seriously. My hands seemed to have a decision of their own and let him do as he said.

“Take care always, Cinyla. Just if ever there is a problem don’t forget that I am here. You are so gorgeous!” I think I was deaf from what I heard until my seatbelt was off to my body.

“Focus, Cinyla. Take care.”

I forced a smile and nodded in agreement with what he said. I was going down and went straight inside but first I waved and then spoke. “Thank you, Joshua.”

Even though my ultimate crush was named after him, it is unlikely that I would like him but I can see how he would appreciate me.

His car left and I went straight to the elevator because my office is still on the 4th floor, I have to move because I still have a lot to finish today.

While waiting for the elevator to open, my cell phone rang. I received a text from BenChua.

Who is with you? Go to my room now!

Received. Monday 7:45 AMContent (C) Nôv/elDra/ma.Org.

I raised my eyebrows because of his early rudeness until the elevator finally opened and I was so shocked that I screamed.

“S-sir?”

He was the only person inside the elevator and he quickly pulled me inside. My heart beat faster and thinking that he would be angry. Until I  received a tricky sermon from him. But when the elevator closed and we’ve reached the 4th floor, he removed his arms in me.

“S-sir…

“Whoever he is, I don’t want to see him with you. Don’t be with him anymore. Cinyla, you are mine. You’re are only mine.”

I don’t know his real point but I feel he is jealous to Joshua. “Sorry… It won’t be happened again.” My lips spoke spontaneously and released the words that would calm him down.

The elevator door opened and he pulled my hand and we went straight to his office. I was confused so I let go and stopped. “Sir, I have something to finish.” I changed the conversation and he smiled mischievously.

“No love! Your task for today is having time with me. Finish all those paper works tomorrow.”  He snorted and give me a cute version in front of me and hold my hand again. I didn’t do anything and it was as if my heart softened and let him go. But the truth is when I heard what he said, I felt tickled. I also smiled a little because I finally have nothing to do but am I ready to do my plans?

“Are you sure sir?” I suddenly asked and he suddenly frowned.

“You always called me sir, I hate that! Call me by my name, please?”

I laughed at his reaction, he looked like a child.

“Go ahead, BenChua!” I called him and his smile widened. We are now inside his office, in the main where he is busy doing important things. “Cinyla, please stop making me jealous, it’s hard,” he said sadly, causing me to stop.

“I don’t want to see you with someone else, I don’t want someone will hold your hand. I don’t want someone to hug you. If only I could, I will only do it for you. Hoping I am with you all the time…” He bowed so that I could not see his sad look.

I stopped at what he said and it was as if my heart was being pierced by a small needle. Why am I feeling this way? Why do your simple words hurt me? Are you really jealous?

He came closer and saw her gentle face. “Only me, just only me, Cinyla. The only one that you need to be fall love is only me, only me love…” He came more closer and give me a sweet kiss.

“You’re only mine, only mine.” He whispered and hugged me again.