The Wicked Mrs. Gastrell (English version)

Flashback

“Still cold? Should I hug you tighter?”

I shook my head at Cholo then snuggled into his side. We have returned home from dinner at a restaurant in a mall. We no longer went to eat with his mother because Cholo knew how Donya Teodora would treat me. He’s really nice and very thoughtful. It does everything so that his family can’t trap me.

“Karina…” he whispered in my ear along with a kiss on my forehead.

“Why?” I also whispered without looking up.

I know what he means to do. I felt it every night that we were sleeping in the same bed. He would whisper my name and then wait for my answer. On those nights I didn’t answer. Only now because… It might be the last.

He raised his hand to my ear and played with it.Please check at N/ôvel(D)rama.Org.

“After all of this, can I still see you?”

I closed my eyes and bit my tongue. I stopped the tears from falling. When I calmed down, I pretended to laugh.

“What kind of question is that? Sure. Of course. You can still see me if you want to see me. I just live in the other town.”

He kissed the top of my head before playing with my ear again. I was tickled but I just let him. This may be the last time I will feel him like this.

“Karina, as cliche as it may sound but… Do you believe in love at first sight? You just met her for the first time and then your life got so messed up. You can’t get her out of your mind no matter what. You keep on wishing that she’ll come back to the same spot that you left her to be. You keep on wishing that you’ll see her again in the faces of strangers and in unlikely places that you’ve been to.”

I closed my eyes. It seems like he is describing exactly how I feel about him. The first time I saw him smiling, it was as if my world stopped spinning. His face, smile, and gray eyes are enough to make my heart beat faster. He has never let me sleep in the nights since our eyes first met.

“Not yet,” I lied. “Have you, have you experienced it?”

He took a long time to answer.

“Yeah, only once and never have I looked back since.”

I moved a little away from him and raised my face to him. I met his eyes. I looked down at his parting lips. Will he be angry if I kiss him first?

“Cholo?” I asked without looking away from his lips.

“Yeah?”

“Can I kiss you?” I almost begged. I closed my eyes so I wouldn’t be tempted to look at his face.

I heard his soft laugh and he reached behind me. I gasped as he rested one of his legs on my leg and locked me in it.

“Only if you open your eyes and kiss me,” he whispered.

I opened my eyes for a moment only to inhale without warning when he captured my lips. Even though I was surprised, I gave in. I let him do everything to me.

“You’re so beautiful, Karina,” he whispered in my ear while kissing my neck. His hands are already on my chest and are enjoying themselves. He had already taken off my pajamas.

I couldn’t do anything but grunt in response. Cholo is good at tickling my body. It’s like he even knows my body better than me based on how he knows what to do with me to satisfy me.

He moved his kiss to my chest and suckled it. I just pulled out his hair while pressing myself even more into his lips.

I threw away all fear and inhibitions. Tonight is mine. This moment is mine.

I helped Cholo take off his pajamas. I was naked in his sight but I no longer feel ashamed like before. All I want is to be locked in his warm arms again and feel him inside me. It’s like… It’s like I’ll do anything just for us to be one tonight.

“Kiss me, baby,” he said in a hoarse voice when he was on top of me and his elbows were on either side of me. We were both naked, panting, and sweating despite the cold blast of the air conditioner.

I pulled him by the neck and gave him what he asked for. He retaliated with such fervor. It consumed my remaining doubts. And when he completely possessed me. I stopped myself from closing my eyes. Instead I bit my lower lip and hugged her arm and thighs.

I just kept my eyes open the whole duration, memorizing Cholo’s face in my brain. Every move he made, every grunt, every time he opened his mouth to catch his breath, and every time he called my name-all of that I would remember as I left. I will seal everything in the deepest part of my brain and hide it until I can open the memories again.

He cupped my cheek and kissed me firmly before speeding up his movements. I clung to his arm until I couldn’t control myself. A few moments later, I exploded. At the same time as I lost consciousness for a moment, my tears started to fall.

Cholo took my hands and raised them to my head then I felt him explode inside me. Catching for air, he fell on top of me and planted a kiss on my neck.

“Stay here with me, Karina. Promise me,” he managed to say in between kisses and gasps.

I didn’t move for fear that he might know I was crying. We should be happy now. Our last chance together cannot be mixed with sadness.

When our breathing returned to normal and I was able to express my own emotions, that’s when we realized what happened.

He looked into my eyes with a worried look.

“I didn’t pull out,” he said in a worried tone. “A-are you safe?”

I didn’t move. It was only then that I realized the possible consequences of what happened. I shook my head and averted my eyes.

“I don’t know,” I said in a low voice.

Silence passed. If it wasn’t for his warm body still clinging to me, I wouldn’t think I’d be in this room with anyone else. After a while he reached out and hugged me.

“It’s okay. Don’t be afraid. I got you. Always. I’ll be here for you no matter what happens. I’ll never leave you.”

If only the situation had been different and if I hadn’t decided what to do, I might have been reassured by the assurance he gave me. But no more.

I’ve made up my mind.

I will leave him. I am leaving Cerro Roca and will never return no matter what.

I’m right that Cholo and I can’t be together. A few weeks of living the illusion is enough. It’s time for me to wake up and face reality no matter how painful it will be. For the family. For my father and brother.

“Thank you,” I replied before responding to his hug.

Thank you, Cholo. All in all. Thanks for the memories.

I hope… I hope you can forgive me.