Chapter Twenty-Three; Moments of Uncertainty
My head hung low in embarrassment. I pulled my bottom lip between my teeth, desperately wishing the ground would open and swallow me whole.
I was so stupid.
I refused to raise my head as Caspian returned to the living room with a cup of water and some painkillers. I couldn’t bear to meet his gaze, not when I almost cracked his skull and spilled his brain matter on the floor. I was neither drugged nor kidnapped, Caspian explained that after I got drunk during last night’s gathering. He’d taken it upon himself to drive me home after I passed out, but there was heavy traffic on the road that led to my apartment so he opted to take me to his home on noticing I had come down with a fever.
Caspian moved to sit beside me but I kept my gaze on my bare feet. “Here you go.” he started, offering the cup to me. “It should help with the headaches.”
I offered him a tight smile as I accepted it, too embarrassed to say anything else. Caspian sighed as I leaned back, his lips pulled into a fond smile as he watched me. He always does that, he’s always looked out for me in moments where I thought I was alone. So many things have happened between us, the atmosphere around us only got more awkward.
“You’re blaming yourself aren’t you,” he said. “It’s okay Auri. You must’ve been startled, waking up in an unfamiliar place can be scary. I’m sorry, I wanted to take you to a hotel but I couldn’t guarantee your safety”
“Don’t apologize.” I cut him off, finally raising my head. Caspian meets my gaze and his eyes soften. “I should be the one saying sorry, not you. I mean…” I gestured to the kitchen, to the battered remains of the vase I used to attack him. “You helped me and I almost sent you to the ER.”
“Hmm it’s not as bad as you think, a man needs some excitement once in a while, and seeing you swing a vase at me really got my blood pumping.” Caspian lets out a soft chuckle, and heat crawls to my cheeks at his tease. I knew he was trying his best to lighten up the mood, but it wasn’t enough to ease my guilt.
“I’m sorry.” My shoulders slumped as I looked down at the cup. “You could have gotten hurt”
My eyes widened as Caspian lips slammed against mine, swallowing my words and cutting me off in the process. The kiss was quick, lasting for just a few seconds before he pulled back. A playful smirk overtook his features as he took note of my flustered expression.
“If you feel bad then you can make it up to me,” he suggested, his blue eyes shining with an intensity that took me by surprise. It was the same look he had when he declared to seize my heart for his own.
“What do you mean?” My voice came out in a whisper, my brows arched in confusion as my grip on my cup unconsciously tightened. He was so close. Too close. But still. I felt nothing, not even when his hand caressed my cheeks, his gaze lingering on my lips as he answered.
“Will you go on a date with me?”
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I had never skipped a day of work before, but today was an exception. As I explored the amusement park with Caspian, I didn’t want to think of anything else because I was genuinely having a good time. Thanks to the painkillers, my headaches had reduced, and I was relieved to be able to enjoy this little break to the fullest. I relished the sound of hearty laughter, the smell of cotton candy and fried food lingering in the air, coupled with the thrill of the rides at the park.
When Caspian asked for a date, I was skeptical at first. Knowing his growing feelings for me, I didn’t want to lead him on, but it was hard to refuse him at the same time. He was very convincing, especially with those ocean eyes of his. But I couldn’t shake the fact that I felt nothing towards him anymore. Every time he tried to hold my hand, I would find a way to evade him, and each time I did so, my guilt dug deeper, eating me up from within. I was certain that I only saw him as a friend, but with him not willing to accept that, I was at a loss for what to do.
I was having fun, but a voice rang in my head, reminding me that I was a coward who sought a way to run my worries. I hadn’t forgotten about the stalker, but he had yet to contact me and I didn’t know if that was a good or a bad thing. On one hand, I was slightly relieved, and on the other, I was paranoid. I couldn’t stop myself from wondering what he would do next, if he would finally make a move or continue to tease me. And honestly, I didn’t want to know. I was better off deluding myself that everything was good and well with the world.
“Damn it.” Caspian cursed under his breath as he failed at another attempt to get the stuffed teddy bear from the claw machine. “This piece of shit is rigged!” he was just about to kick the machine but he stopped himself midway, his eyes widening as suddenly remembered that I stood beside him. I laughed at his adorable frustration, enjoying how determined he was to get the toy I requested. Caspian groaned as he straightened up, combing his hands through his hair. “I’ve failed as a man.” he shook his fists in the air, eliciting another round of laughter from me.
“Come on, don’t beat yourself up. You got this little guy.” I mused, showing him the miniature frog he managed to retrieve and he rolled his eyes in response. Caspian leaned against the wall, crossing his arms over his chest as he let out a pained scoff, taking a cursory glance around the arcade.
“A frog isn’t romantic.” He said, his lips jutting out in a small pout. How cute. I moved to lean on the wall beside him, looking down at the said frog. It had heterochromatic eyes, one a dark shade of blue and the other forest green. It immediately reminded me of the CEO, causing an unfamiliar emotion to stir in my heart.
Both I and Caspian settled in silence for a moment, looking over the noise and liveliness of the arcade.
I stilled as Caspian hands brushed against mine, but before I could do anything, he took my hand, intertwining his fingers with mine. “Finally,” he muttered under his breath, but I pretended not to hear him.
Caspian’s grip on my hand tightened. “I like you, Aurelia,” he confessed. “I like you very much.” his voice lowered to a whisper, and I knew he was waiting for an answer, but instead I said;
“Is that why you told our colleagues we were in a relationship.”
Caspian sighed, and I glanced at him. He avoided my gaze, turning to look at the teddy bear that remained stuck in the claw machine. “I know I shouldn’t have said that. I just…….” he faced me again, his eyes pleading; “I couldn’t bear to hear you openly deny me. It hurts to hear it again, it makes it too real.”
I contemplated his words, feeling my heart ache at the sadness in his tone. I was conflicted. Would I ever be able to return his feelings? Would it be right to push such a good man away? Or was I setting myself up for more than I could handle?
If it was possible for my former feelings for him to return, would it be okay to choose him instead? What about the CEO? Where would he stand in all of this?
I was at a loss of words, caught between two men who had somehow taken a place in my life. One offered support and comfort but I did not feel an attraction towards him, while the other was cold and stoic, a complete mystery, but my pull towards him was magnetic.
“Caspian I can’t” My phone buzzed in my handbag, causing my heart to skip a beat. I wanted to ignore it, but then it buzzed again and again. I visibly paled as my blood ran cold, instinctively knowing what it meant.
“Aurelia?” Caspian was quick to notice my change of mood. “Is something wrong?”
“I have to use the bathroom,” I said, my words coming out in a rush as I hurried over to the restroom, silently praying that it was just a random message from an ad or anything else. I spent five good minutes in front of the bathroom mirror, hunched over the sink as I fought to steady my racing heart. I took my phone, unconsciously holding my breath as I opened the message.
Unfortunately, It was just as I feared.
MASTER; Where are you?
It was a simple question, but it made the hairs on the back of my neck stand erect. Lie. just lie. He could be plotting a scheme to abduct me this time, so why would I willingly disclose my location to him? Only a fool would do that, even if I was scared as hell, I was no fool.
AURELIA; None of your business.
I had sent it on impulse just to gauge how he would respond, I had no idea who I was dealing with, so it was a huge risk, but maybe I could figure out his intentions if I goad him on.
“Oh shit, he’s typing.” My grip on my phone tightened, and I chewed on my bottom lip as I waited.
MASTER; I won’t repeat myself.
I could sense the anger from that statement, and it made me more than satisfied. His persistence must mean that he was nowhere near, but I had gotten what I wanted yet, even when I wasn’t sure what I was looking for.
AURELIA; Neither will I
MASTER; You’re not going to get anything good from annoying me darling. Where are you?
AURELIA; I’m not scared of you.
That ofcourse was a blatant lie, and I’m sure he knew that as well. I might be a horrible liar but I was just as stubborn.
MASTER; Don’t tell me you’re with that bastard.
I only saw a glimpse of his last message before it was deleted. My brows furrowed in confusion. What did he mean by that?
After a few minutes, no texts came, but then my phone lit up with an incoming call. I jolted in my spot, thinking it was the stalker but I soon relaxed as I realized It was Mrs Juniper.
“Hello Mrs Juniper.” I greeted her, trying my best to sound casual. She must have called because of my absence from work.
“I’m not calling because of your absence Aurelia…” She started, almost as if she read my mind. “Caspian already informed me of the situation, so I gave you both a day off.” I heaved out a sigh of relief on hearing this.
“So why did you call? Is it something urgent?” I straightened up as I heard Mrs Juniper sigh, taking note of her hesitance.
“The CEO called you in.” she finally said.
My breath hitched in my throat.
The CEO…. wants to see me.