CHAPTER 93: I WILL END HIM
CHAPTER 93: I WILL END HIM
LILY’S POV:
It was pass 1am and Nikolai still isn’t back home. I have cried for hours, regretting what I said to him but another side of me was satisfied I said what I was feeling.
I remembered the look on his face when I blamed him for his brother’s action and my father’s condition. He tried to mask it but I could see beyond his expression, he was hurt and I think he also blamed himself.This content belongs to Nô/velDra/ma.Org .
I couldn’t sleep no matter how much toss and turn I did on the bed. I got up and headed to the kitchen for a glass of milk.
The Vladimir mansion hallway was scary looking but I was too depressed to care about that. My steps were almost inaudible and I soon reached the kitchen, took the milk from the refrigerator and poured some in a glass. I took the glass back upstairs to the room.
I saw that a room light was still lit at the opposite hallway. As curious as I was, I took slow steps to the direction with the glass of milk still in my hand.
No sound could be heard from the room but for the lights to still be turned on, someone was there.
‘Who could it be? It so late in the night’, I said to myself.
I peeped in and it was Mr Vladimir, I quickly back away and held my mouth. He didn’t see me as his back was turned to me.
I slowly took steps backwards to retreat but I heard him speak.
“Come in if you want to and stop acting like a thief”, He said and I froze.
How did he see me?! I made sure to be quiet as possible.
I closed my eyes and said a silent prayer before going in. He was browsing through a book in his large book shelf.
“Are you familiar with ‘Leviathan’?”, He asked as he turned to face me.
“Thomas Hobbes, 1651… yes”, I replied and nodded. I caught the flash of surprise in his eyes but he quickly masked it.
He isn’t aware that my major in college is philosophy.
Mr. Vladimir took a seat and leaned back in his chair, the book still in his hand as he gazed at me.
“You know, I’ve always been fascinated by the works of Thomas Hobbes. He believed human behavior is driven by self-interest and a desire for power”, He paused, studying my expression, “What do you think? Do you agree that humans are inherently selfish, or do you side with Jean-Jacques Rousseau, who believed we are born innocent and corrupted by society?”
He was clearly trying to test me and I was up for it, I sighed and walked in the study with the glass of milk still in my hand.
“I understand Hobbes’ point that people act in their own self-interest but I think he’s too negative about human nature. Don’t we also see people working together and helping each other?”, I paused for a reply but he didn’t make a sound, just kept staring at me, so I continued, “Hobbes says people give up some rights to a central authority for protection. But what about those who don’t agree? Doesn’t that create an imbalance, where the powerful protect themselves at the expense of the weak?”, I threw another rhetorical question and I saw his lip raised a bit.
“Sit and go on”, He said and I smiled, taking a seat opposite him.
“I think Rousseau’s idea that humans are naturally good, but society corrupts us, makes more sense. Maybe we’re born to care for each other, but societal structures change that”, I said.
“You’ve thought deeply about Hobbes and Rousseau. What do you think is the key to balancing individual interests with the greater good?”, He asked.
I swallowed, thinking of what to say not to offend him but also to air my most honest opinion.
“Individual interests align with the greater good when we think about the long-term effects and how they impact our community”, I replied and he smiled at me.
This was the very first time I saw him smile and at me. I could really see how much Nikolai resembled this man, their one sided crooked smile and the way they praise someone with their eyes instead of words.
I know he was amazed by me but wouldn’t say it and I don’t expect him to.
“You seem wise Lily, knows a thing or two about theories”, He complimented and stood up, he went to where he has a bottle of whiskey and poured a glass, “Want a glass, instead of milk?”, He asked and I remembered I was still holding the glass of milk.
“Oh, I am okay with this. Thank you”, I said and took a gulp of the milk.
He chuckled and took a sip of his whiskey and sat back down.
“For me, Hobbes and Rousseau are correct in their own way… My first son, Roman, wasn’t always this thirsty for power. He was born innocent and corrupted by society, or in this case, by me”, Mr Vladimir explained which pains in his face.
The mere mention of Roman triggered something in me. I tightened my hand around the milk glass.
“I have a lot of regrets in my life and one of them is putting my sons against each other. I wanted them to be fierce and strong and fearless, I made them compete with each other in everything… Nikolai always come out the best and so, naturally I praised him and compared Roman to him. Of course I never wished for him to grow up to be a manipulative sadist”, He paused to look at my expression, I wasn’t like him who could mask his expression. I had the tear hanging by my eyelashes that with a blink, it would roll down.
“You know when I was hospitalized when you first came to this mansion? Roman and I had an argument and he said he was going to kill me then kill Nikolai next hahaha… son of a gun”, He continued, giving a dry painful laugh.
My eyes widen at what he said.
“He threatened to kill you? His father?!”, I asked. What type of son would say that?!!
“Is it crazy that I was actually proud at that moment? Roman has not done nothing to earn a praise from me but I was proud of his action”.
“Why?!”, I asked, was he crazy!!
“All his life and Nikolai’s, I have raised them the way my father raised me. To always take charge and challenge whoever stands in your way. To crush anyone who poses a threat. To fear no one and seize whatever they want… Nikolai turned out intelligent but will Roman, I think I failed”, He said.
I could hear the hurt in his voice and I started to feel pity for him. He must have heard what Roman did to my father that’s why he was telling me all these.
“And what about Galina?”, I wanted to know. He immediately raised his head to look at me, his eyes brighten at the mention of his only daughter. I placed the glass of milk on the table.
“My princess… God forbid I raised her harshly! She was always protected, I made sure she wouldn’t know suffer and I never pushed her too hard”, He paused and smiled, then continue, “She is looking more and more like her mother when we first met at that garden. Galina deserves the whole universe… It was through her I noticed I have been too hard on my boys and I regret that everyday… I know what my son did to your father and I apologize on his behalf”, He said.
Before I could say anything in response, a deep voice came about my head.
“No use in apologizing father. Roman would pay with his life and I will make sure of that”, I flinched and turned to the person, it was Nikolai.
“Nikolai!–“, I called out, part of me surprised he was here and the other part happy he was back home safe and sound.
“Let’s go!”, He didn’t let me finish my word, he grabbed me by my hand and dragged me out of his father’s study room.
He took long strides as he dragged me forcefully through the hallway.
“Wait– Ouch!”, I cried in pains as his nails was digging into my flesh and I was practically running to keep up with him. He didn’t stop or slow down and he didn’t even care about my discomfort.
We soon got to the room and he slammed the door and turned to me, huffing.
“Are you crazy?!”, He asked in anger. His eyes were red, his hair was rough and I could smell him. He has been drinking and smoking.
“You reek of alcohol Nikolai, where have you been?”, I said to him.
“Why were with my father?! I warned you to stay away from my family, especially my father but you go to him by this time in the night?!! Are you insane?!”, He was clearly angry.
“You are being unreasonable, he didn’t hurt me or anything! He was nice!”.
“Yeah, ‘nice’. My father is nothing but nice!”, He responded.
“Where have you been Nikolai? Why are you reeking of alcohol and– and why that talk about killing your brother?!”.
“Because I mean it. I will end that bastard’s life. It is something I should have done since”, Nikolai replied.
“But he is your brother!”.
“And he intentionally hurt you Lily! You mean more to me than he ever will!… Why are you defending him?”, He asked. His expression changing to that of suspicion, he took steps towards me and I moved backwards.
“What do you mean? I’m not defending him!”, I quickly said.
“You are!!”, He yelled, grabbing my shoulders and pinning me to the wall.
“Nikolai you’re scaring me, stop it please!”, I said, shouting my eyes.
I was terrified he would hit me, terrified his hand would find a place on my neck, terrified he would go back to when he hurt me in the past.
I couldn’t hold the tears as it poured, waiting for the impact from him.