Chapter 119
Sheila's point of view
"Sheila," Killian rushed to where Morgan, Maggie, and I were gathered. He moved closer to me, and I jerked up on my feet.
My penetrating blue eyes that held my tears and stabbing anguish landed at Killian.
"Sheila, I swear I was going to tell you–" he started, but before he could speak further, I walked straight past him, grabbing a handful of my dress in my hands, I raced out of the Castle, sprinting into the woods.
I was far from being in control of anything, especially my emotions. I felt a grueling gruesome sensation steer in my bones. There was deep turmoil in my broken soul. I didn't stop, I kept racing without any direction. I just wanted to stop the hurting in my soul. This was all too much to bear. Just when I had thought my life was finally in order, Thea was pregnant.
She's pregnant with my mate's child. Killian's child. She's carrying his heir.
I crashed against the earth, shedding tears profusely. I couldn't contain it all within. Thea once again would be rooted in our lives. She would always be in Killian's life, and unfortunately, she had a permanent position in the pack.
I cried painfully, clutching onto the tree closest to me. I heard quick hasty steps trail my tracks.
I was up on my boots, again, not wiping my tear-stained face, I turned to leave. I just wanted to be alone. Surely, that isn't hard to understand.
I felt the tingles that I am beginning to detest. It had brought me nothing but pain.
"Just wait for a second," Killian grabbed my hand, swerving me around to face him. "I swear I wanted to tell you, but I just couldn't."
"You just couldn't? You have no idea how you've humiliated me, Killian. I had to find out in the presence of everyone that my mate was expecting his lover's child!" Tears rolled from my eyes. I had no idea what had hurt me the most. The fact that he knew but couldn't spare me the humiliation of finding out through his lover, or the fact that the rest of my life, I had to share him with someone else.
I backed away from him, tearing up. I couldn't understand what cursed fate the goddess had given me. "What gruesome crime had I committed to deserve all this?"
Killian moved to me, eyes swollen with pain as well. "You know I would rather die than cause you pain, ever again," he muttered, and I believed him. But none of that mattered. Nothing could erase the pain I felt. Not Killian's apologies or his words.
"I didn't know how to tell you. I would give anything to have that child with you," he said, "I want nothing to do with her, but I swear I never touched her when we were together. Thea knew for a long time, but she only told me few days ago."
Despite the pain desiccating me, I broke into an unusual laughter that soon morphed into tears. Of course, that bitch must have known for a long time she was expecting Killian's child. I bet she only waited to humiliate me. Now everyone in the pack knew Thea was expecting Killian's child, the Pack's future heir.
"Nothing you say matters now, Killian," I took a step back as Killian tried to reach for me. "Thea—"
"I don't care about Thea," Killian rushed. "I don't care about her, and I care about you. Please, just tell me nothing is going to change between us, please?"
I was still for a second. "Are you serious right now, Killian? Thea is expecting your child. That child alone changes everything between us. You know very well what it means. That child will be a constant reminder of my humiliation. You have no idea how much damage I feel that once again, your lover has something I wanted, and I don't know how to be okay with that!" I just didn't know what to do with the pain I felt. I wanted to be angry with Killian. I should be. Even if he wasn't loving this as well, this was his fault.
He had placed that woman between us in the first place. He had first given my rightful place to her and she was expecting his child. That was too much and I doubt if I could forgive that.
"Sheila—"
I placed a hand up, silencing him. "Just let me grief alone, at least, you could do that much for me."
I walked away, leaving him behind. All I could do was cry. It was better to let it out than have the pain and anguish consume me.
For the first time, I had no idea what to do. One thing I knew was I couldn't go back to the castle. I wanted to be alone, I wanted to think. I felt completely alone. I wanted to go to my brothers' pack, but I doubt that was the right choice, knowing there were too many eyes watching them.
But I couldn't stand this pain. I shut my eyes as more tears rolled out and the darkness descended on me, demanding I made a choice.
I grabbed my dress, taking a route in the woods that led out of Killian's pack. I headed for the Black Blood Pack. I stripped, shifting to my wolf, and clutching my dress with my canines.
I headed for the Black Blood Pack. After a few minutes of running, I arrived there, scouting the surroundings before I took the secret path into the castle, covering my tracks.
I navigated my way to the top floor, strictly for Leonardo, Kaiser, and Leonardo's mate, Denise. I made my way to the private dining hall before I could enter.
I heard Denise’s soft call, "Sheila?" I swerved around, and she hurried to me, wide-eyed, scrutinizing me. "What happened to you?"
I groaned. I had forgotten about my wounds. They were all healed now but I still had blood all over my body and dress. I suddenly realized it was a bad idea to come here. If Leonardo or even worse Kaiser saw me in this state, they might think Killian tried to kill me.
"It's a long story," I said. "Don't let my brothers know yet, I need your help. Can you help me with a dress?"
"Yeah, of course," Denise replied, but her voice still held immense worry. She held me and as we turned for the door, I realized someone was there.
It was as if my eyes fell into a mirror reflection of my very own angry blue crystals. "Leonardo," I breathed out, feeling his intense stare on me.
"What happened to you?" He spoke calmly, but every word of his held a deathly rage. He wasn't saying it, but I could see the words shooting from his eyes. Did Killian do this to you? Upstodatee from Novel(D)ra/m/a.O(r)g
"It wasn't Killian, if that's what you are thinking," I said, "I… Uhm…I lost control and this happened," I said, remembering everything that happened in the Court. I couldn't win against the tears that gathered in my eyes.
Leonardo's eyes were on me as I fought hard not to break down in front of him.
"Alright, we'll be right back," Denise held me and led me to her chamber. She lent me one of her dresses that fit me properly, and after that, we made our way back to the dining hall on the top floor.
Leonardo was waiting for us there, and he had ordered some food for me. But I had no appetite. I glanced around and Kaiser wasn't there.
"What about Kaiser?" I took a seat around the chair, and so did Denise.
"He went with Valerie and Lorenzo," Leonardo drawled in his husky voice, taking a sip from his drink before his prodding eyes met mine.
"You should eat something," Denise offered.
I shook my head, "Really, thanks, but I am not hungry."
"What happened to you, Sheila?" Leonardo's deep voice forced my gaze on him. His striking blue eyes took a peek at my soul.
I pulled my eyes away. I knew exactly what my brothers were capable of. They already hated Killian. I didn't want to think of what would happen if they found out what had happened between Killian and me, especially when I didn't know what I would do.
I loved Killian, but I could never be okay with Thea still in our lives, even worse, now she was pregnant with Killian's child. I had nothing against the child, but I knew Thea. This was her plan all along. It would be unbearable having to live the rest of my life with my mate's lover and his child with her. No matter what Killian says, everything changed between us, and I would never humiliate myself any further.
“Sheila," Leonardo's voice jerked me from my thoughts.
"It's nothing—"
"Nothing?" Leonardo asked, "That bastard is expecting his heir with his lover, how is that nothing?"
I released a small whoosh of air from my lungs as a tear slipped down my eyes.