Scream For me

DAPHNE

“I – Pregnant?” I sit up, trying to put some space between us so I can think. “This is moving so fast.”

“I’m not asking you to let me knock you up right this second. You can’t anyway; you started your cycle.”

“But in a week when it’s over, you are? We haven’t even talked about what this is.” I motion between us. “And most of the time we’ve spent together has just been sex.” He pulled back from me as I slapped him. “No, I mean-”

“I thought that’s exactly what we were doing right now was talking about what this is. I told you I wasn’t playing games, Daphne. I’m not interested in just fucking. I’m in love with you and I just made that crystal fucking clear so if it’s not what you want, then tell me, but it’s not because you don’t feel the same; it’s because you’re scared. We both know that.”

“Great,” I huff, getting out of bed and grabbing the shirt I took off earlier. “So since you have this all figured out, I should just go along with it? This is all your fantasy and I’m just along for the ride?” I don’t know why I’m getting so upset. The man I am in love with just told me he feels the same way and wants a life with me.

You know exactly why you’re upset. He’s right… you’re scared.

“Jesus, Daph.” He drags his hands over his face. “That’s my exact point; this isn’t a fantasy for me. If it was, I wouldn’t have involved you in my daughter’s life the way that I have. Watching you with her, watching the way she talks about you. What did you think was going to happen between us? That we’d get to know each other, have insane chemistry and mindblowing sex, and fall for each other, then just walk away? Was that your plan?” He gets off the bed and grabs his clothes, putting them on. “Tell me what you want, Daphne. Not just in your fantasy but what you want with us. I’m not telling you what to do. I told you what I wanted, but if you don’t want the same things, then tell me right now because I’ll walk out that door and I’ll leave you alone. I have no interest in forcing anyone to be with me.

I’ve done it before and it doesn’t work.”

My chin quivers as I look at him, tears falling over the brim of my eyes. “I don’t know how to move on. I feel paralyzed by fear. I can’t- I don’t.”

“Hey, hey.” He steps toward me, his hands coming to my face. “I know. I understand, trust me, but I promise I’ll be here for you. I’m not asking for you to give me everything right now. I’m just asking for a chance because this, what we have, is a once-in-a-lifetime kind of love. The love of your life kind of love.”

He’s saying everything I should want to hear but instead of relief or happiness, I feel guilt and pain. I push his hands away, stepping back to wipe the tears from my eyes as anger takes over.Copyright Nôv/el/Dra/ma.Org.

“You can’t just waltz into my life and think that you’re going to take over and plug me into some void in your life. I can’t replace Mira for you. I can’t replace her as Daisy’s mother!” I spit my words at him, hoping they sting because I want him to hate me.

All the repressed fear I’ve been swallowing about losing someone I love again or him choosing someone else when his excitement for me fades as Natalie mentioned comes bubbling over and the only way I can seem to cope right now is by lashing out.

“I already lost the love of my life, and you can’t replace him.”

I watch as his face falls. It’s not anger or hatred, it’s defeat… sadness. It’s like I’m watching his heart shatter right in front of me and instead of helping him put the pieces back together, I scatter them even further.

He doesn’t say another word. He turns slowly, walking toward my front door, and then he leaves.

I fall to my bedroom floor, sobbing. I have nobody to blame but myself. He didn’t lead me on or choose someone else. He didn’t make me believe he loved me and hence I fell for him. He laid his heart at my feet, and I stomped on it.

I STARE at the pill packet in my hand, Weston’s words from a week ago echoing in my ear. I feel like I’ve been existing in a fog of emotions this last week. Every night I’ve cried myself to sleep, reliving the words I said to him, wishing I could take them back. Wishing I could deal with my past and move on from it.

I miss him more than I thought I could miss someone. He was right about our chemistry, about the connection we have… or had. I feel panic grip my chest again as I think through what I’ve done. I close my eyes, taking in several slow breaths.

You’re scared because you know he’s right and you don’t want to admit that he is the love of your life. It doesn’t mean you’re replacing Carson. He was in your life for a reason, to show you that true love is possible, to pave the way for Weston to show you what it could be.

“Miss Flowers?” My eyes pop open, Mr. Fein’s voice startling me.

“Hi, Mr. Fein.” I plaster on a big fake smile, the same one I’ve had all week, pretending that everything is okay.

“Can you follow me down to my office for a few moments?” The expression on his face makes my stomach drop.

“Uh, sure. Is everything okay?”

“We’ll discuss it in my office.”

I follow behind him as we walk in silence to his office. He closes the door behind me. “Have a seat, please,” he says, pointing to a chair across from his desk.

Uneasy, I sit down.

“I have received some disturbing information and before I come across as accusatory, I want to hear your side of things first.”

“Okay.” My heart feels like it’s going to beat out of my chest.

“A very reliable source told me that you are having some sort of relations with one of your students’ parents?”

I stare at him blankly, my palms sweating as I twist my hands in my lap nervously. I don’t know what to say. I’m trying to rack my brain with who would have told him about me and Weston.

“Well, Miss Flowers, do you have anything to say?”

“I, um, I won’t lie about something going on between me and We-Mr. Vaughn. You are aware and I’m sure you know who it was with but…” I try to choose my words carefully here since I’m clearly in some sort of trouble. “I’m unsure how that is any of your business, or anyone’s business besides mine?”

“To reiterate, the individual who reported this is a very reliable source and they mentioned that they witnessed money being exchanged between you two.” His face grows redder. “So while dating a student’s parent isn’t technically against our rules here at Crestwood, we do have a code of conduct and ethics we ask that everyone on staff upholds and as you can imagine, payment for favors, sexual or otherwise, is most definitely not in alignment with that code.”