Book To Read
Regret
Regret
From the tone of his voice, I knew that he felt sorry for me. I appreciated that but that didn’t help open
this door!
“Luka! Open the door! Please! Please open the door…” I wailed while crying.
My whole body shook with the strength of my own sobs. My voice cracked and I found it hard to
breathe; however, that didn’t keep me from beating my hands against the door. Luka didn’t respond but
I knew that he was still standing there in front of the door.
“Luka…please…” I begged.
Luka just said that he’s not sure if Hayden can make it to see me tomorrow. Doesn’t that mean that
he’s hurt badly? He’s going to be stuck in the hospital, right?
“I’ll let Hayden know that you wish to see him,” Luka said flatly.
“Wait! Luka! Luka!” I yelled loudly.
Luka didn’t reply again, and I knew that he was no longer on the other side of the door.
Although I knew that Luka had left, I continued to bang on the door as more tears streamed down my
cheek. Why is this happening now of all times?!
After screaming my head off for the men in black to let met out of the door without any result, I resigned
to my fate and headed for the sofa to gather myself.
I went through a lot of tissue to wipe my tears and blow my nose. It was getting challenging to breathe
because I couldn’t stop crying. I sighed loudly and covered my eyes with my hands as I thought about
how worried I was about Hayden. Luka said that the accident wasn’t serious, but I couldn’t be sure until
I could see him with my own eyes. I’m was worried sick about him…
Laying down on the long sofa, I felt terrible for what I’ve done and hadn’t done. This is such a mess, if I
knew that thing would turn out this way, I should have talked to Hayden properly yesterday. Why didn’t I
do that? What was I thinking? This feeling that felt like a void inside my stomach is probably called
regret.
It was one of the saddest things ever that I needed an accident to remind me and make me realize how
I felt. I should have figured out my own feelings sooner. I bit my lower lip as I forced myself to stand up
from the sofa. Knowing well now that I couldn’t go back to change the past, all I could do was act on
securing a better future and that must start now.
It was late at night and the art studio was pitch black in the darkness. Reaching out my hand along the
wall, I found the light switch and turned on the lights. Flights flooded the studio, and my attention was
immediately on the painting that I had painted earlier in the day. I took the few steps that was required
to bring myself in front of the painting. My legs still shook with every step that I took.
I felt tears forming in my eyes and quickly blinked to clear them away. It never occurred to me when I Material © of NôvelDrama.Org.
was painting this painting that I was painting it for me rather than for Hayden. White tulips symbolize
forgiveness. At first, I thought I painted this painted because I wanted to tell Hayden that I had decided
to forgive him for locking me up in here. Just so that we could talk things out and come to an
understanding. However, the void I felt inside of me right now told a very different story…
Who has to forgive who now, I wonder? If I simply apologize for my selfishness and foolishness, will he
forgive me?
I wasn’t sure if the paint had completely dried or not, but I didn’t care anymore. Without hesitation, I
reached out for a black piece of fabric and quickly tossed it over the canvas to completely cover it.
Hopefully, along with it, I can cover up my past mistakes and the associated regret and shame.
Although I knew that I probably couldn’t fall asleep, I got into the bed anyways. When tomorrow
morning arrives, Auntie will come to see me. Maybe I can beg her to help me then or at least, she
should have some news for me about Hayden’s condition. I prayed that Luka wasn’t lying when he told
me that Hayden was fine…whatever fine meant.
I glanced over at the only light in my bedroom that came from my phone’s screen. The name on the
screen read Hayden but the call refused to connect no matter how many times I tried. If he was in an
accident, he should have called me to let me know that he was fine. Just how difficult is that? I just
needed to hear his voice and hear it from him that he was fine.
Having completely lost count of the times I called him without any success, I closed my eyes to rest
them. The adrenaline rush of rushing through completing the painting from earlier today was getting to
me on top of everything else. My body and mind felt tired, and my spirit felt bruised and battered.
…
I don’t know when and how it happened, but I must have fallen asleep at some point while waiting for
my line to connect with Hayden’s. My mind felt hazy from exhaustion, emotional stress, and sleep
deprivation so I wasn’t sure if I had imagined the whole thing when I felt a presence close to me. Even
when I felt the mattress of the bed shift beneath me, I still wasn’t sure if someone else had just placed
their weight on my bed or if it was just my stupid imagination.
“Hmm…Hay…den…” I whispered drowsily as I shifted on the bed.
By that time, I was wholly convinced that sleep was just playing tricks on me. Hayden’s in the hospital
somewhere so there was no way that he could be here…right?
But what if…
“Hayden!” I woke up with a loud scream as I bolted upright into a sitting position on the bed.
--To be continued…