If You Want Me (The Toronto Terror Series)

I pry my eyes open at the sound of my alarm. They feel like they have sand in them from all the crying. I woke more than once last night in tears. I cringe when I get a load of my reflection in the mirror. My eyes are ridiculously puffy. In my dreams, Hollis got back together with Scarlet, and he kept kissing her in front of me.

That had better not be a premonition.

Rix has already left for work, so I drag my ass into the shower. It doesn’t help with the puffiness. While I’m lying on the couch with tea bags on my eyes—the online recommendation to alleviate my issue—my dad lets himself into my apartment. It’s a bad habit of his.

“Hey, kiddo, what are you doing?”

Shit. I can’t tell him I spent last night crying over his best friend. I scramble for a plausible lie. I remove one tea bag and blink him into focus.

Dad frowns. “Are you okay? Did something happen? You’ve been crying.”

“I’m fine,” I croak. I’m a terrible liar. “I went on a The Way We Weren’t rewatch kick, and you know how emotional that show makes me.”

“Oh, yeah. You scared me for a second there. I thought I was going to have to kick someone’s ass.”

Just your best friend’s because he called kissing me a mistake. “No. No asses need to be kicked, Dad.”

“Okay. That’s good. I was thinking we could order Thai for dinner tonight from your favorite place. Does that sound good?”

“Yeah. Sure. That’d be great.”

“Perfect. I’ll get all your favorites. Six thirty work for you?”

“Yeah, six thirty is fine.”

“Great. See you then, sweetheart.” He bends to kiss me on the forehead. “Have a good day.”

“You too, Dad.”

After he leaves, I check my phone. I have messages from my school friends and another from Rix asking how my swim went.

Aurora

Things happened.

Rix

What kind of things?????

Aurora

Un-take-back-able things.

Rix

Please to be expanding on that.

Aurora

Lip things.

Rix

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My phone rings. “I’m about to get on the subway, but tell me what happened and whether I need to pick up fresh limes and the makings for nachos for tonight,” Rix says.

“Maybe yes on the limes, but for later tonight, I’m supposed to have dinner with my dad.” I rub my temple, wishing I’d said tomorrow. What if he invited Hollis? “That guy I like kissed me and then told me it was a mistake. It was the best kiss, Rix. The best kiss of my entire life, and then it was the worst.”

“Oh, muffin. I’m sorry he can’t deal with his feelings.”

“He admitted that he feels like he should still see me as the teenager he knew when he first came to Toronto, but he doesn’t, and it’s messing with his head.”

Rix sighs. “I can see why it would. He’s watched you grow up, and now you’re this gorgeous, driven woman he’s attracted to. He obviously cares about you, but he’s in the guilt-spiral phase.”

“What if he never gets out of the guilt spiral?”

“Then he doesn’t deserve your heart.”

The bigger problem is, he already has it, so how the hell do I take it back?