Chapter 268
Thea
I watched Angel walk out on everyone. It was clear how much knowing what he knew hurt him. Florentine had begged me not to enter into more arguments with him because of their present situation. He needed a clear mind to think since Sparrow was still out there and obviously plotting. I agreed with her.
I didn’t know it was possible at first but after that tough talk with Angel in my room, I felt like a huge weight was lifted from my shoulders. I had been running away from this conversation too long, little did I know it was what I needed to start the process of healing.
I apologized to everyone for letting the situation get to this and I was glad for their understanding. They had asked me never to feel bad or guilty about it which made me feel at ease and I was grateful for that.
“I’ll go talk to him.” I said to them to which they agreed to. I went after Angel, hastening my steps. By the time I got to his room, the door was already locked.
I took a deep breath then proceeded to knock on his door.
“Angel? It’s Thea.” I said hoping he’d answer knowing it was me. I knew he wanted to be alone but I could be an exception. I also wanted to speak to him about how I felt now. I needed to keep his mind at ease.
“Angel please open up. I need to speak with you….” The door suddenly opened and I gasped as his familiar scent hit me. I felt intoxicated for a moment then took a hard gulp.
I was nostalgic being here again. I blinked away the memories that swarm into my head, so many intimate memories. I cleared my throat seeing the way Angel stared at me so intensely. He was waiting for me to talk but his eyes looked like they were having same thoughts as mine.
With a tilt to the side he said. “Do you want to come in? You said you wanted to talk.”
“Oh… yeah.” I whispered nervously and he paved the way for me to enter.Content (C) Nôv/elDra/ma.Org.
I got in with a thumping heart and my head felt light for some seconds. I felt slight air hit my back as Angel passed by me. He moved into the room and turned around to face me.
“Make yourself comfortable.” He said a little too soft but I shouldn’t feel comfortable here. I nervously moved towards him and stopped a little distance from him.
It was awkward doing this now that our emotions were on the low.
“You could sit if you want.” He said again with a deep look of care in his eyes. Why did that tickle my heart so easily?
“I’m fine.” I said shaking my head. He nodded and muttered an oh’
“Want anything to drink?” He asked again and I paused for a moment to stare at him. I noticed this was awkward for him as well. Nevertheless, his staring game was top notch. He wouldn’t waver even if the world was burning.
I stared a little more at him and my heart thud loudly in longing for him. He was as handsome as ever, I looked at the couch behind us and the image of him in-between my thighs while I sat at the head rest played in my head. I looked at the window and remembered when he fucked me on the wall beside it.
“Fuck….” I muttered but startled realizing I had just said that aloud. Angel gave me a confused gaze but it only got me more nervous. I found myself pinching my fingers as they shook slightly.
Why did it feel like a temptation being alone with him here?
“I take it that’s not what you want.” Angel said.
“Yes.” I whispered breathing deeply. “I came here because…. Because.”
“Thea….” Angel called cutting me off. I trembled as he seized the opportunity to get close to me. He looked at me squinting his eyes as if trying to figure out what was wrong. “Don’t touch me.” I quickly said getting a feeling he was about to do so. He looked at me with more concern.
“I wasn’t going to. I just wanted to know if you’re alright.” He spoke gently paying attention to me. I nodded and let out a sharp gasp.
Goodness! Why did I feel this way now and not back in my room. I knew I had been holding myself back so much from feeling anything for Angel even though It was a failed project but now it was worse because after our hard talk I felt free and like I didn’t need to feel guilty for the way my heart beat for him.
“Is there something you have in mind to tell me?” He asked when I wasn’t talking.
“Yes, sure….”
“You should breath.” He said to me. Although I didn’t expect that I still did as he said. ” Feel better?”
“Mmhmm.” I hummed and proceeded to speak. ” I’ve been thinking… This whole thing. Florentine was right, Sparrow came between us. His manipulative strategy was what got us into this mess we’re in.” I paused to watch Angel’s expression. His eyes were gleaming with hope.
“I messed up as much because I couldn’t listen to you when you tried to tell me the truth. I cut you off many times and treated you so cruelly.” He said but I didn’t feel any pain in my heart as I remembered those moments instead I channeled my anger to Sparrow.
“We had something beautiful Angel.” I say staring deep into his eyes and I had that feeling like before. When I felt his heart reaching out to mine. What Angel and I had was magical, something I never experienced before “… but it was stolen from us.” I continued. “I’ve chosen to forgive you Angel. I’ll try hard but it is for my sake and not for you. I want to let go of all the pains and be happy again.
I realized that I really wanted to be happy and for that to happen I have to heal and to do that I have to forgive you.” I said and saw Angel’s eyes light up with joy that he was finding hard to voice out.
“A- are you being serious?” He asked with much difficulty. He took a step closer to me and I moved back a bit.
“Not at once. It will take some time but I’m willing to do it. So much time has been wasted Angel, though it hurts my ego to say this but if we were to ever be together again then I have to let go of all the anger I have for you in my heart.
Truth is I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you. I know I can never stop loving you… And just like you Angel, you’re my everything. You mean the world to me but I can’t let you back in.
In truth, I want to move on if it’s possible.”
The words just kept spilling like a car with no break. I was amazed at myself. I just said all that when I never planned to go that far.
Angel just stood there staring at me and looking speechless.
“This is the third time today that you’ve confessed your feelings to me.” He said this time in a low and rough voice.
My throat felt dry so I made it moist by shoving fluid down my throat. I felt speechless as well.
“It’s simply the truth but that doesn’t mean we could get back together as lovers. I want to be independent of my feelings. I won’t let it control my decisions. I will go back to my mum just like you promised and try to know what I truly want. Move on or patch up my past. You don’t have to wait for me, you could move on with your life and not feel guilty for anything.” Angel moved two steps close to me. He raised an arm slightly as if telling me not to move away from him and I didn’t.
There was so much gratitude in those spelling eyes of his. Deep longing that showed just how much he had suffered in love.
“I may sound selfish Thea but I’d rather die than see you with another man. Not when I know how you truly feel about me.” He said getting me shocked. That wasn’t the reply I expected from him.
“W-what.” I whispered.
“If you need time I’ll give you time but don’t ever ask me to move on without you because it’s impossible Thea.
You changed my world. I can’t imagine life without you.” He said almost melting my resolve. My eyes welled up with fluid but I blinked them back. I sighed deeply as I looked at him from eye to eye.
He loved me, so deeply just as much as I did. In that moment I knew there was no one who could capture my heart the way Angel did.
“I’m never going to let go of your heart Thea. As long as I live. I’ll give you time to heal and forgive me but don’t ever imagine that I’ll give up on you. You’re a part of me Thea, I can’t exist without you.” He confessed taking a step after each sentence. I was almost in his arms. Electrifying sensations flowed within me and I quivered as I felt the warmth radiating from his body.
Slowly, Angel let his fingers touch mine and I responsed on reflex. My fingers reached out to his. He weaved his hands into mine and I felt a surge of heat, electrifying sensation course through my veins.
I shivered and breathed shakily as Angel reached out for my cheek. He caressed it gently then placed his forehead on mine.
With a shaky voice I whispered. “I didn’t come here for this, so please….” I begged and he let out a deep sigh. I felt him vibrate slightly obviously feeling some surge of sensation at our entangled hands and touching skin.
“You want me.” He voiced hoarsely tilting my head backward while his breath burned hot on my lips. I jerked slightly as my body responded positively to his advances.
” Not again Angel. You can’t do this to me.” I whispered back and I heard him gulp hard. The tip of his nose tickled mine and he trailed his thumb from my cheek down to my neck which caused me to sigh sensously. I bit my inner lip regretting the fact that I did.
“Fuck….” He cursed in a deep voice. “You have no idea how much I missed that sound.” I open my already closed eyes getting a grip of myself. I quickly free myself from him aiming for the door but Angel held me back and spinned me towards him such that I hit against his chest. He grunted from the pain the contact caused to his chest and I was startled.
“Angel?” I called with bulging eyes and wide lips. His hand had quickly circle to the back of my waist pulling me close to his body. “What are you doing?” I asked feeling scared.
“Shhhh….” He hushed and I was afraid that things could go beyond what it should. He stared at me deeply and tucked some strands of my hair behind my ear. He leaned close to my ear and whispered. “I’d never do anything you wouldn’t permit. I just wanted to feel you one more time.” He said then slowly let me go. He had this deep desire in the is his eyes.
That was close because in that moment if he had tried to kiss me then I wouldn’t be able to resist him.
“I’m sorry for going overboard.” He apologized and I said nothing. “Thea?” He called looking really worried.
“It’s fine, really it is.” I said to stop him from coming closer. That was his favourite thing to do…. Coming close to me.
” I’ll be at breakfast tomorrow.” I muttered and found my way out of his room.
I took several deep breaths once I was out of his room.
Truth was that, I wasn’t sure I was ready to go. A part of me wanted to stay back and make sure he had everything sorted out with Sparrow.
One thing I knew for sure, fighting his temptation was going to be the hardest thing I did for the few days I had left.