Chapter 53
Bryan’s POV
I groan in pain as I flutter my eyes open sharply. I look around, trying to recall what happened last night and how I got into bed.Belonging © NôvelDram/a.Org.
I shut my eyes and groan again before sitting up sharply and placing my feet down on the pompom rug beside my bed.
I wonder why I feel pain all over me and why I feel feverish. I glance beside me and I see my bandaged hand then it clicks in my head and everything comes rushing.
I remember everything; Camilla, the whole content of the alcoholic drink I gulp down my throat within five minutes, Celine and Camilla’s presence, and Celine treating me before laying me on the bed to sleep after giving me a pill.
I squeeze my eyes shut as I feel the agony again. My heart is contrasting in pain and betrayal. I feel lost and stupid for not confiding in Helena before she died. I should have told her the truth so she would forgive me.
Now I don’t know if she will ever forgive me for what I did. The guilt of what I did was what made me decide to be celibate including the fact that I doubted if I can ever be attracted to any other woman apart from Helena.
When Celine and I had sex, I felt I had betrayed Helena again and I began to despise Celine.
When I open my eyes, my gaze shifts to the nightstand, and I see my mug sitting on it.
I lean forward to see the chocolate drink in the mug but it’s already cold. She must have purposely kept it here for me to take incase I woke up in the middle of the night but I didn’t.
I suddenly feel grateful for what she did. Despite how I always act harshly towards her, she still shows me sympathy.
Despite how I have been treating her unfairly, she treated me and even cried for me. I saw her tears before falling asleep last night.
I close my eyes again. The deed is done already, nothing can be done to undo it.
Feeling suddenly energized and ready to go to work, I stand up abruptly from the bed and groan again, feeling a slight pain in my foot. I guess it is because of the bottle I kicked away last night.
I have to go to work or I will end up being depressed if I stay at home today. Work is what I have been using as an excuse not to be depressed and eventually commit suicide.
Work is what I take pride in and take consolation from. Work is what has kept me going. Work is what I know how best to do. I work, work and work just to shut out the pain and wave away the thoughts of the misdeed I had done.
I just hope I will be able to concentrate at work today. The reality of everything is still fresh and I can’t help it. I wish I can just stay at home but I can’t. I take a step towards the bathroom and my leg hits the bowl of water beside my bed. I look down with furrowed brows.
What is a bowl of water doing here?
There is a towel inside the bowl and the water looks unclean. Before I can think of who brought it here, I hoist my head in confusion and it lands on the sofa.
There is Celine’s nightcap laying there. I glance around my room, noticing for the first time that everything is well arranged and back to its position now.
Realization dawns on me that Celine did not only arrange my room but she also slept here to watch over me at night. She also helped to reduce my fever and made my favorite drink in the dead of the night.
As much as I think of these and how much I want to show my appreciation to her for being kind to me, something inside of me kicks against it.
Celine is someone I have vowed to deal with. I can’t just let go because of a single act of kindness from her.
Who knows maybe she is pretending just to have my forgiveness and have me become soft with her but I doubt if that will ever happen. Celine and I aren’t friends.
I shake my head to wave away all the thoughts as I walk further into the bathroom. I remember having a fever and feeling hot in the dead of the night but now it is all gone, except for the slight headache and the pain in my bandaged arm. I guess the headache is a result of the alcohol I took last night.
I want to forget about what happened last night for now so I can concentrate on work today. I want to round off my deals with the Chinese investors today and it’s important. It is not something I can let go of so I do not want to be distracted by anything whatsoever.
About Camilla, I will pretend none of this happened but for Celine, I am going to question her when I am back from work and I am going to warn her not to ever come into my room without my permission ever again.
She is no longer my wife, she is nothing but a nanny now! I conclude with finality. I enter the bathroom and slam the door shut immediately.
****
Celine’s POV
I open the door and walk in. The mug is still on the nightstand, the bowl is still on the floor beside his bed and the sheets on the bed are ruffled. I am glad he slept well and soundly like a baby.
I left his room this morning in a hurry to go back to my room and sleep. I didn’t want him to know I was here but the sleep got the better of me and I totally forgot to eradicate the evidence of my presence here.
I sigh and venture inside, closing the door behind me. My eyes falls on any night cap and I gasp softly. I even forgot my cap. I also did not wake up to get his dress prepared. I hope he forgives me.
I have no idea why I am inside his room when he is absent and gone to work but I guess it is because I am curious to know if he left the mansion in one piece.
Who would have believed that the man who looked so helpless as a child last night is back to work?
I thought he was going to stay at home all day to recover from everything that has happened and the physical injury but no, Bryan is unpredictable.
His decision to go to work today is enough evidence that he feels better. I smile to myself in satisfaction.
I begin to think of how to help him overcome all of these. I am not trying to trespass or take advantage of his one-time show of civility, I am just trying to help my baby’s father.
I have been thinking of consulting a therapist on his behalf but I know better than to do such a thing without his consent first. He will be mad at me. Besides, I am too broke to employ the services of a therapist on his behalf.
Suddenly, an idea forms in my head and I think it is going to work since I am good at expressing myself better in writing. I want to motivate and inspire him, I just hope he will read the note.
Grinning to myself for a brilliant idea, I walk in and search for something to write on. Fortunately, there is a drawer beside his bed that houses several unused papers and a pen which Bryan uses whenever he works from home.
I have known this since the last time I was here. I sit on the bed, making a mental note to lay it for him before leaving and also dispose of the cold drink and the bowl of water. Camilla is indisposed to do her job today so I guess I will replace her for a while.
She is too broken to get back to work.
I drag the drawer forward and pick out a single piece of paper and a pen before thinking for a while about how best to begin my journey of motivating someone as hard as Bryan.
I begin after a moment of debation.
You are Bryan Martinez, the youngest billionaire in New York.
You are not ruthless like they describe you to be, instead, you are cold-hearted. All you need is something to warm up that coldness and make it disappear forever.
I read what I wrote and shake my head. No, this is not good. Bryan will throw this away within a second of reading it. I need to write something catchy to convince him to read to the end.
The goal is to motivate him to keep going and let everything go and I can’t motivate him if he doesn’t read to the end.
I grab another paper and think for a while, disposing of some ideas and cracking my head for more sweet words to say to him. No matter how cold-hearted Bryan is, his heart will melt at sweet words and this is what I intend to do.
He doesn’t need to smile at my choice of words, he doesn’t need to see me in a different light henceforth, he doesn’t need to begin to act differently towards me, all I want is for him to be happy again and let the past stay in the past.
Feeling proud of myself for my intelligence, I set to work, scribbling passionately on the paper as I pour out my heart and pain into it, hoping it will be similar to his pain and he will be able to relate to it and be motivated to know that life is worth it after all.