Chapter 104
Abby looked at her hands that were still shaking as she stood in front of the basin in the adjoining bathroom, trying to curb the urge to wring them until her fingers broke.
She felt like she could still see the blood, Micah’s blood, on her palms, even though she had rinsed them for the hundredth time since Alyssa and Reyna ushered her into the cloak room so she could change out of the ceremonial dress which was ruined now.
She remembered vaguely hearing Micah order her personal maids to assist her, following which was a blur again, until she found herself alone in the bathroom.
‘Can I do this?‘
Abby couldn’t help but ask herself when her body wouldn’t stop shaking as Alyssa and Reyna helped her change into the spare dress Ella prepared, just in case something
went wrong.
And Abby didn’t want to get started on how horribly things had turned out until she had to redo everything in less than an hour, just to make it in time for the ceremony.
A ceremony she didn’t think she would be able to go through until the end without passing out first.
‘Breathe… I need to breathe.’
The girl had to remind herself every other minute, as her lungs refused to pull in air as if the adrenaline coursing through her veins was enough to keep her heart beating.
At least, her maids seemed to have taken pity on her as they didn’t say anything, even words.of comfort, as they ran here and there, bringing her dress from Ella’s place, then settling on the jewelry by themselves. They didn’t even disturb her out of her thoughts when they were done finalizing her look in less than forty five minutes.
And Abby couldn’t help but feel grateful for their thoughtfulness. She clearly knew that even if she forced herself to the extreme, she just wouldn’t be able to bring herself to try and make herself presentable for the occasion.
However, Abby didn’t dare to look at herself in the mirror once Alyssa and Reyna stepped back from her after leading her to the floor length mirror. She was afraid she would only see a frightened little girl, who was wrecked inside beyond imagination, even though the made up look they worked hard on would make her look otherwise.
***
It was a miracle her maids managed to pull off the feat of redoing everything in time, even though it would be underrated to describe it as a last minute crisis.
Abby was all set to go, save for some courage to leave this bedroom, but the King was nowhere to be found by the time she stepped back into the bedroom, and this only added to her soaring incredulity.
“The King also left to change his clothes, my lady,” one of the warriors posted outside the bedroom informed her duly when she kept looking at the door for her mate to appear with a visible distressed expression on her face.
Right, blood splattered everywhere and Micah’s robe was not an exception. Abby could only wait silently, but her mind was anything but silent with all the thoughts that had been running through it without reprieve since Neesha’s murder attempt on her.
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Yes, Neesha tried to kill her and she, the very victim who escaped death by an inch, was sitting in the same spot. The irony wasn’t lost on her, but she couldn’t afford to that fact when she settled into a chair at the table behind the sofa, knowing it would only lead to a mental collapse.
ad to a mental collapse
She was on the edge right now, and a simple nudge could push her down a rabbit hole so deep, just the thought of it made fresh tears swirl in her eyes.
“Lady Abby!”
Abby suddenly heard someone call her name and when she lifted her head, she could see that it was a man, but because her eyes were all blurry from tears, she had to dab at her eyes, not wanting to ruin her remade face.
If she had to sit through a third round of makeup, her body wouldn’t be able to handle it at all.
Once she carefully wiped her tears with a handkerchief, she was finally able to look at her visitor and she was quite surprised when she realized who it was.
“Does that look mean why I’m still here?” Ezgar asked with his signature smile in place when Abby continued to stare at him without saying anything. “I just felt you could use some company.”
Hearing his words, Abby felt her eyes moisten again. Even though Ezgar tried not to show it, it was obvious that the state he found her earlier was anything but pleasant.
He even ignored the elephant in the room, the mind twister how Micah got hurt in his own room in this palace.
But then, even if Ezgar asked her, Abby didn’t think she would know how to open that can of worms.
Would she explain how Micah had to block an attack for her because the former queen- wanted to kill her son’s mate for god knows what reason?
Or should she recount how hard Arthur had been trying to force Micah to leave her, resorting to everything possible in and out of the books?
However, Abby couldn’t strike off the possibility of Ezgar guessing the better part of everything since it was an open secret that Abby couldn’t gain approval from anyone in the palace.
Abby felt tired just thinking about all that mess again. Her head started to throb so harshly she felt like knocking her head on the table in front of her, just so she could concentrate on a different kind of pain.
At this point, physical pain seemed a lot better than all this misery her mind was being frazzled with.
“I don’t think I can do this…” Abby whispered, as her eyes fell on her hands again, only now she was wringing them with full force, finally giving into her anxiety.
“What?” Ezgar äsked, when he couldn’t quite grasp what Abby said. Her voice came out so tired, it barely made a sound. Exclusive © content by N(ô)ve/l/Drama.Org.
If the man hadn’t been looking at her with his complete attention, he would have missed that she had even talked. But by the movement of her lips, he could gather a single word, ‘can’t.‘
On the other hand, Abby couldn’t even muster enough energy or courage to repeat what she just said. Whatever pep talk she did to encourage herself to endure this evening seemed to have lost all its magic once she realized she couldn’t hide her true
emotions at all.
Her almost reddened hands were proof enough for the same.
“Are you talking about the ceremony?” Ezgar asked her suddenly, his eyes fixed on the very hands she was looking at.
He had figured it out, after all, what was so hard about it? Abby could swear how clearly fear was written all over her face right now.
Coupled with their last few conversations, where she shared her worries over several things that she needed to prepare for the procession, it didn’t take a genius to
understand Abby was talking about the ceremony yet again.
So, with the cat out of the bag, Abby could only nod her head, even though she didn’t want to admit it.
“What’s the big deal about it? If you feel you aren’t ready, you could just ask King Micah to cancel it,” Ezgar said, sounding so casual but Abby felt her heart thump in her ears at his words.
“Cancel the ceremony?” Abby repeated after him, looking at him dumbstruck, as if he just grew two more heads on his neck.
“Yeah, if you, the main character, think you can’t do it, then just tell the same to the King, he will understand,” he said, still smiling brightly.
“What about everyone who is waiting in the great hall and around the palace?”
“If Micah sets on something, who would object?” Ezgar asked back.
“But he wouldn’t agree so easily…” Abby couldn’t help but point out.
“If I’m not wrong, he loves you enough to accommodate such a small thing for once,” he speculated, thoughtfully.
“But…”
“No, buts. You won’t know if you don’t try. Just ask him first, then you will know,” Ezgar cut her off.
However, Abby didn’t think it was that simple. No matter how little she managed to learn over the years, she was still able to discern when something was really important.
And crowning the future queen of this kingdom was not something people could hold or call off on a whim.
But then, she couldn’t help but entertain the thought that Micah would reconsider given the day she had.
“I think you are right…” Abby trailed off, still fearing what Micah would say.
“I’m always right,” Ezgar smiled, almost slamming the table.
However, their little bubble burst when someone clearing their voice interrupted their thoughts.
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Abby lifted her head and saw Micah standing behind Ezgar, who was still smiling encouragingly at her.
“Everyone, leave,” Micah ordered in a firm voice, before Abby could rearrange her thoughts and say hello to him.
Within no time, the room full of people rushed out, leaving only the two of them. Ezgar mouthed the words ‘you can do it,’ before he took his leave as well.
******
As soon as Micah returned, he could hear Abby talking with someone…
Even though she wasn’t talking animatedly like she would when she found something interesting, she stopped crying and worrying about the ceremony. He thought it was a good thing.
But then he finally stepped into the room, and once he saw the person she was talking with, Micah’s mood immediately turned sour, especially when he saw how comfortable Abby was around Ezgar.
Coupled with the way Ezgar took initiative to cheer Abby up earlier, Micah found the sight a little unpleasant.
“Everyone, leave,” he said, wanting to be with Abby alone and saw how Ezgar proceeded to bid farewell before leaving.
On the other hand, even though a little confused, Abby felt like an opportunity presented itself and she needed to make use of it.
“Micah, I have something to talk to you,” Abby said, mustering the little bit of courage Ezgar helped her pick up.
“What is it?” The King asked her and then saw her walk toward him slowly.
“I know it is not acceptable to request you this,” Abby started, feeling her heart in her throat. “But…”
“Go on,” Micah encouraged his mate when he saw how flustered she was.
“I don’t think I can do this,” Abby said, closing her eyes. “The ceremony I mean… AfAfter what happened earlier…”
Once she started, it was a never ending flow as she poured her heart out about all her grievances. From the preparations to the expectations of all people. From Arthur’s
conspiracies to Neesha’s attack.
By the time she was finished, Abby was a blubbering mess as she tried to hold back the tears that threatened to fall any moment now.
She couldn’t help but beg Micah that she wasn’t ready to face so many people in the name of a ceremony right after escaping death by a narrow chance.
“There would be so many people, half of them trying to get rid of me in whatever way possible,” Abby continued, her voice breaking all over with each word she said. “I don’t think I can be nonchalant about what happened earlier either…
“My head is a mess, Micah, it has been for two weeks now. Now it reached its limit,” she admitted, as she burrowed into his arms, finally being able to hug him in days.
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However, the rigidness in his muscles didn’t provide the usual warmth she got from him.
“You know it’s not possible, little one,” Micah broke it to her. “I can’t cancel it.”
Abby stiffened in his arms before leaning back a little to look into Micah’s eyes when she heard his hard voice.
Her eyes were a mirror of disbelief and hurt as she couldn’t fathom his unrelenting attitude in the face of her desperate begging, which was a result of a near death experience.
How could he expect her to go through this ceremony like nothing happened?