Healing The Ruthless Alpha

Healing The 93

Sihana’s POV

+6 Pearls

im not a good man- you know I deal with bloodlust Do you think I can be a father?” He questioned

1. me.

“Do you want to be a good father?” I shot back. “And don’t lie thinking it’s what I want to hear.”

“There’s no reason for me to lie,” he deadpanned. “ver wanted kids because I didn’t want to leave anything of me behind but then you got pregnant and I’ve been thinking. Yes, I want to be a good father. Your baby deserves a good father.” I pursed my lips.

“This isn’t about me, Cahir. It’s OUR baby, not just mine. Yes, my baby deserves a good father but do you want to be a good father for them?” I almost snapped but I held myself.

My emotions were all over the place but there were too many words that I wanted to get out and I didn’t want to risk losing my cool and ending this conversation with an argument.

“I – Yeah,” he said but there was little conviction in his tone.

“You know, I’ve been thinking and that’s why I’m still up by this time,” I confessed. “My father lost his mate because of me and he never let me forget. If If something happened to me –

“Sihana Asena,” he growled my name, grabbing my hand as if I was slipping away and he wanted to hold on to me. “Don’t,” he warned but I didn’t relent.

“If anything happened to me, can I trust you with this child?” I asked.

“Nothing is happening to you,” he snapped.

“Calm down.” I held his hands as I felt him slip, eded him to be right here with me for this conversation, not angry, not tired, but right here in the moment. “This is just a hypothesis, Cahir. Things happen without one planning them,” I muttered.

Perhaps it wasn’t a good idea to talk about dying during childbirth and it wasn’t as if I thought I was go to die, but eded some things cleared tonight.

“Life happens. I don’t plan or pray to die but if you lost me while birthing this child, will you treat them the way my father treated me?” My heart pounded as I asked the question.

Cahir had the power to be worse than my father- to hurt my child worse than my father could ever hurt.

1. me.

‘He doesn’t tolerate things he doesn’t like. Aristo’s words came back to make me shiver. Exclusive content from NôvelDrama.Org.

He wouldn’t–abuse a child but what if he was nonchalant about the said child the same way he was displeased with the pregnancy?

–

“I–I can’t “For the first time since knowing him, I heard panic choke his words. “I don’t want to think of losing you.” He spat out.

“Okay,” I agreed. “You won’t lose me.” He really looked Eke he hated even the thought of it.

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well versed in ripping out a man’s heart, I can fall a dozen men without breaking a sweat, slit a throat without batting a lash but this – this is all new.” He hugged my waist. “When you talk about – leaving for whatever reason, I get this weird sensation in my chest it tightens to the point of pain and it’s unbearable.”

‘s–Its because you love me,” I muttered with flamed cheeks.

“And you?” He raised his head from snuggling into me Do you love me yet?” He was so sure I would love him. Cocky bastard.

“I–I don’t” My feelings these days were distorted. “I – I don’t –” My feelings th

“Don’t answer that.” He pressed a finger to my lips. “I won’t ask again but I expect you to tell me when you get there. His eyes twinkled with an unknown emotion and his lips pulled up in a ghost of a smile.

“Cahir-“I muttered, embarrassed.

my

“The way you say my name “He buried his face in my thighs again. “I love you, Sihana Asena. It’s a new, confusing emotion and I don’t know what to do with it. The more I try to make sense of it, the more confusing it gets. I’ve never felt anything as consuming as this and when I feel no, I know that reaction to the baby disappoints you so I try to hide my face. I don’t want you to be hurt. It hurts me

to see how you deflate when you can’t get me excited for the baby. I want to be excited. I try but I He broke off with a sigh.

“You’re scared you won’t be a good father,” I finished for him and he hummed. “I’m scared too, I admitted. “No one there’s no mother figure in my life. I don’t know how to be a mother. The only thing! know about babies is what we were taught in biology and I know I need to learn. I’m scared of failing, dead terrified of having my child turn out like me

“What’s wrong with you?” Cahir cut me off. “You’re perfect. If – When we have a child, I want them to be like you.”

“No, it’ll be better if they’re like you.” I ran my hand through his hair. “I’m weak and I can be stupid. Every time I smell a confrontation, I try to run and hide from it but you – you’re a born leader. I want our baby to have your confidence, your strength and your aura. People like me get torn up by others and I don want my child to be hurt by others because they’re like me and can’t stand up for themselves.

“Who would dare bully an Armani?” He snarled. A chill skittered down my spine. “No one in titis w the next would dare hurt our child.” A chilling ferocity hardened his voice. “I’d first kill them

“Ahem.” I cleared my throat before he got murderous. “Let’s not talk about terrible things around the baby.”

“Oh, sorry.” He looked at my stomach. “It’s just – The baby should be like you, not me. I’m an arrogant ass – unpleasant person and you’re beautiful, calm, loving and kind.”

“Alright. Let him be half like me and half like you,” I agreed with a laugh. This was the first time we ever held a conversation about our child.

“Him? Do you know the sex already?” His eyes widened

“N- No. I just said that.” My skin heated at my little ship. In truth, I wanted a boy. There wasn’t any reason I wanted a boy but I wanted this baby to be a boy. “Do you not want a boy?” I asked slowly then he frowned.

“I–I don’t know but for some reason, I’ve always thought of the child as a girl that looks just like you.” I

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snorted.

So you’ve been thinking about the baby?” I thought he

his mind.

es.” His tone was quiet. “I’ve been reading some book determined.” He pressed his face into my stomach. “I d of shit worse than your father but I want to try. I barely man. My hands are coated in blood and a child born fr want to try.” He took a good breath.

“I want to be a good father to our baby.”