Hatred With Benefits

E I G H T Y

EMERSON.

"Why did you leave?" I let out a groan at the sound of her voice and when I turn around, Hanna is

standing in front of me with a glare attached to her face and her arms crossed to her chest.

"What did I say about coming into my room without my approval?" I raise my brows at her, ignoring her

previous question and she drops her hands as she steps closer to me, not removing her eyes from me.

"Why did you do that, Emerson?"

"Since when do I have to explain myself to you?" I ask and she says, "Since it includes you leaving the

damn state without notifying anyone. "

"Don't raise your voice at me. " I warn her before I turn to the side and stalk towards my bed. "I don't

have to give you reasons for my actions, and you shouldn't expect any from me either. "

A scoff leaves her lips as she follows after me. "Really, Emery? Are we still playing the cold big brother

game?"

"Hanna, please, " I sigh. "I really don't have it in me to argue with you right now. I left because I needed

to; there you have it. "

"And now you don't longer need to stay away? Is that why you're back?" I avert my gaze to the door,

wondering why the fuck I didn't bother to click on the lock when I know she's around. When I give her

no response, Hanna continues to speak; her next words are not ones I were expecting and ones that

catch my interest. "I went to your place, and I met her. "

When I settle my gaze on hers, she whispers, "Eva. "

I'm quick to move out of bed and stand in front of my sister again. "Why did you go there?"

"I just wanted to check on her. " She answers and I nod, "And how was she? How is she? When did

you go? What did you say to her and what did she say? Have you seen her after that? Did she say

anything about me? Talk to me, Hanna. "

She folds her arms to her chest and tilts her head, a playful smirk spreading to her face as she says, "I

thought you wanted me to keep my mouth shut and leave your room. "

"This is the time where I need you to be serious, Hanna. " I say and her smirk drops, a serious

expression covering her face. "She didn't look so good. "

"What?" I arch a brow and she continues, "It was four days ago, and she told me she's leaving your

apartment. I think she went back home, but I'm not sure of that because I rarely see her around here.

She's mad at you, Emery. A lot. You hurt her so much. I could feel it when I look into her eyes and I

heard it in her voice. "

My voice trembles as I open my mouth, "She— she isn't fine?"

Hanna shakes her head. "Not exactly as you thought she'd be. " Fuck no.

"She said you left and she has to too. " What? No. No, she can't do that. How the fuck— why didn't she ConTEent bel0ngs to Nôv(e)lD/rama(.)Org .

understand my note? I know I made a hard decision, but I thought she'd understand.

"I have to—" I don't complete my words before I leave Hanna and start to head to the door and her

voice echoes behind me. "Emerson. Where are you going?" I don't listen as I stroll out of the room, and

down the hallway; making a stop at the front of the room where their voices are coming from.

"He ran to you? Of course, that's what he'd do. What else was I expecting from a fucking coward?" The

sound of dad's chuckles follows those words and I drop my head, my hands folding into fists of their

own accord.

"I thought we agreed that you'd never disturb Emerson again. "

"And are you saying you came from New York, and left your job just to lecture me about some boy that

doesn't deserve it?"

"Please, dad. " Elias speaks up next. "We made a deal, and we both agreed to it. "

"And that deal doesn't involve me watching while he sleeps around with the daughter of the man I'm

trying to eliminate. "

I open the door at that, and both heads snap to me as I stride inside.

"Emerson. What are you doing here? I told you to—" I don't listen to Elias as he moves from his seat

and I walk directly to dad. His brows are furrowed as I stand in front of him and I open my mouth,

"What will you have me do?"

"What?" He says and I drop my gaze from his. "I will do anything. You can ask of anything from me, but

please, just don't ask me to harm Matt Carson. "

"I don't think you're in any position to tell me—" I don't let him finish his words before I drop to my knees

before him with my hands on my thighs. I keep my eyes down as I begin to speak again, "Please. I

know you hate me for what happened with mom, and you probably hate me more because I've been of

no use to you. You can continue to do that. I'll stay away from this family if you want me to, but please,

don't try to create any more trouble between me and her. Let me have this one thing. "

"God, Emerson. What are you doing? Get up. " Elias walks to my side and grabs me by my arm, lifting

me to stand by his side. "I told you to stand by and I'll handle this. "

"You also told me I must be willing to do anything and everything. " I remind him of his previous words

and he sighs, looking away from me to dad who stares between the two of us.

"Tell me what you want. To keep you from making moves against that man. "

"You can do nothing. Matt doesn't deserve where he's at and you know how much I hate having to

share when it comes to work. " Dad says and Eli responds, "But the man is working just as hard as you

are if he manages to hold that position till now. You should be working with him, father; not plotting

against him. "

"I was fucking there first!" Dad snaps now, raising from his seat. "I held that place first and Matt Carson

came out of nowhere; taking more than he could chew. He's arrogant and never listens. "

"Is that what this is about? You hate him because he doesn't dance to your tunes?" Elias laughs and

when dad remains mute, he proceeds to say, "We're talking about a grown-up man here, dad. A man

who proved himself capable over the years, despite you being the problem. That's right, father. I did my

research before coming here, and I know for a fact the only reason you're being like this is because

you think Matt Carson doesn't deserve the percentage he holds. "

I look away from Elias to dad, and the look on his face tells me he hit him at the right spot.

"And that's why I'll make you an offer for you to stop trying to kick him off. I'm not saying you have to

work with him, but you don't have to work against him either, and you also don't have to interrupt your

son's affairs with his daughter. I'll give you a raise of twenty percent. "

"What? No, you can't do that. " I tell him but his gaze remains on the man in front of us and I turn my

head to dad, "You can't take that. He's working as you want him to, and you take more than enough of

the share. You can't ask him to add more. "

"I'll think about it. " Dad responds, completely ignoring my words and I let out a scoff, about to open my

mouth again, only for Elias to slap my shoulder and gesture to the exit.

I give dad one last glance before I follow through and when we're away from him, I say, "What the fuck

was that? If you add twenty percent to what he takes from you, then you'll be getting only thirty percent.

You practically built that company, why the hell should you have to do this?"

He merely smiles as he slips his hands into his pockets. "We're in a world of give and take, little

brother. You didn't think he was going to back down without a good reason, did you? It was going to

take more than just mere words, Emerson. "

I shake my head as I pace around him. "I can't believe he said that. I know he hates me, but you?

You're his fucking son and you have helped him in so many ways. "

"You're his son too. " He nods to me and I halt my steps, meeting his eyes. "I'm different. "

"You're not. You're his son, Emerson and I know he gives you a reason to think otherwise but his

resolve will be broken soon. Our father isn't always a cold bastard as you see him as. "

"You should have let me remain on my knees. " I mumble and he laughs before he says, "You know it's

more than just the fact that he despises that man, don't you? "

"Yeah. He loves to see me suffer. He has it easy this time that it's with a man who hates him just as

much as he does. "

"Have you seen her yet?" He asks and I smile. "Not yet. But I'll soon. "

EVA.

The breeze blows past me and I rub my hands down my arms from the coldness that it brings with it

before I slip my hands into my pockets and only then do I feel the vibration of the phone inside.

Lifting the mobile to my face, mom's name is across the screen and I decide to leave it at first, but

knowing she wouldn't stop calling until I take it; I swipe the button to the side and press the phone to

my ear.

"Eva? Where are you, baby?" Her panicked voice echoes through and I say, "I'm out. I was taking a

walk. "

"At this time? It's so late, Eva. " She cautions and I respond with, "I'm not a kid, mom. I know my way

around here and the darkness just settled. I'll be home soon. "

"Do you want to tell me where you are so I can come pick you up?" She suggests and I shake my

head, "No. I'll find my way home. You don't have to worry about me. "

"Eva—"

"Please, mom. " That's all it takes for her to give in and she says, "Alright. Be careful on your way

home, baby. "

I give a hum as a response before the line disconnects and I throw the phone back inside my pocket

before I take the path to her, and I soon view it a bit away.

My gaze remains glued to the floor and I begin to count the steps that bring me closer to the house. I

stop at the fifth and take a glance at the house that's opposite me before I lift my head and attempt to

walk into mine, only to stop at the sight that presents itself before me.

"Eva. " My name falls from his mouth in a way that makes my heart throb at the sound of it, and I

stagger backwards by a step as gorgeous brown eyes state back at me.

He's here. Emerson Ford is standing right in front of me. With dull eyes that only brighten when they

meet mine, and my heart both thumps and aches at the same time.

He moves closer to me, a small smile resting on his lips. "Eva, I—" his hand shoots out to grab mine

but I'm quick to step back, avoiding his touch and his smile fades.

Looking past the hurt that covers his face, I say, "What are you doing here? Why are you here?"

"For you, Eva. I'm back for—" he attempts to grab my hand again but I hold out a hand to stop him,

"Stop. Don't try to do it. "

"Eva, what's going on?" He asks silently and a scoff leaves my lips, "What's going on? You dare to

stand in front of me and ask me what's going on? After you left? After what you did, you dare to ask me

that question?"

"Eva, baby. Calm down and let's—"

"Don't fucking call me by that name!" I snap, my chest rising and falling rapidly with heavy breathing.

"You have no right. Not after you left me without a fucking word. "

"Left you?" He says the words as if he's genuinely confused by them. As if he didn't leave me for five

fucking days without a goddamn reason. "I didn't leave you, Eva. "

"Oh, you didn't? Then please tell me, Emerson. What would you call cutting off communication for

days, only to appear now out of the blue?"

"I didn't. " He insists, shaking his head as he takes another step closer. "Not like you think I did. I

stayed away to resolve what I have with my... Did you not read my note?"

"Stating what? That you're leaving me without a proper goodbye?" I lift a brow, a sad chuckle leaving

my lips and Emerson shakes his head once again, "No, that's not what it said. I didn't— you didn't read

the note, did you?"

"I didn't think I had to if I knew what awaits me at the end. " I respond, and he sighs. "No, it's not that,

Eva. I wasn't leaving you, not in that way. I was trying to protect what we have—"

"By leaving. " I complete his words and a sad expression covers his face as he mumbles, "I had to. "

"You had to. " The words slip through my lips and I press a hand to my forehead as I turn my face away

from him to blink back the tears that threaten to fall.

"Eva, " he calls behind me and I snap my head to him, "Can you listen to yourself, Emerson? You

decided to leave me because you thought that's what's needed of you to protect what we have? Why

and how the fuck would you do that? We were doing so fucking well! There was nothing wrong with our

relationship, so you don't get to tell me that you left to protect something that didn't need any goddamn

protection from you! I'm done with that. I'm done with you always having excuses to justify your actions

of hurting me repeatedly! I'm done, Emerson. "

"But you're wrong!" He matches the tone of my voice before he tears his gaze away. "Goddamn it!"

When he turns his head to me again, he lowers his voice, "You are wrong, Eva. Maybe something

didn't seem wrong to you, but everything was wrong! My father. Yours. Your fucking world was falling

apart, because of—"

"And I told you repeatedly that I didn't give a damn fuck!" I yell, my fists staying by my sides as my

breathing comes out in short pants. "I told you I didn't care if I had to leave everything behind for you,

Emerson so what more assurance did you need?"

"You don't understand. You don't know the graveness behind those words, and maybe you don't care

now, but you'll later. And I'll rather not have you make a decision that you'll come to regret because of

me, Eva. "

"It's my fucking decision. I got to make a decision and I chose you. Did you honestly think I'm that

stupid to not understand the consequences that come with that decision? Is that what you think of me?

A girl who needs to be protected every damn time because she can't make her own choices. "

"What? Of course not. " He protests and I say, "Then why, Emerson? Why did you leave? Why did you

think it was upon you to make the decision for the both of us? Why did you think I was making the

wrong choice by choosing you over my parents?" A tear rolls down my cheeks and I don't bother to

wipe it away as I lower my voice, "Why did you have to hurt me that way?"

"Eva, no. Please, listen to me. " He speaks softly as he closes the distance between us and I allow him.

I allow him to hold my hand in his and I allow him to raise his touch to my cheek, wiping my tear with

his thumb. "In the note; I tried to make you understand that I'll always come back to you. My dad... He,

we talked and I got scared. You know how much you mean to me, Eva. You know it, and when he

threatened this relationship; I thought I had to stay away. I don't know how he got to know about you

and I, but I thought if I'm not by your side, then maybe our relationship would be secure. Maybe we

wouldn't be forced to break it off. I— God, Eva. You have to understand me, please. "

"And how long were you going to stay away to secure this relationship like you said?" I ask him and he

strokes my cheek, his eyes boring into mine as he says, "Till I find a way. Which I—"

"You see, that's the difference between you and I, Emerson. " I interrupt him. "You thought you had to

stay away to keep what we have, and I thought I had to stay close to not lose you. I was open about

what I wanted, and the decisions I was willing to take, but you weren't. "

"Eva—"

"No, let me speak. " I tell him and he keeps mute. "Ever since we got close, if I had something going

on; I'd come to you, not run away from you. Every step. Every choice and every trouble. You told me

we were supposed to be the strength, Emerson not the weakness, so why does it always have to take

my tears and my pains for you to finally come back?"

"Eva. " He whispers and I take a step back, rubbing my hands across my face to wipe my tears. "It was

hell. I felt like I was dying and you weren't here to assure me that I'm not. You know me, Emerson and

you know how I am without you by my side, so why didn't that count as a factor when you were making

that decision? If you had asked me, I'd have gladly left everything. I'd have run away with you if need

be. "

"And where would we go?" He questions, his gaze softening and tears shining through his orbs. "How

long would we have to keep running for, Eva? And what about school? Your future? Will you destroy

that to stay by my side too?"

"I don't fucking care, Emerson!" My tears blur my vision and I swipe the back of my hand across my

cheek, taking a sniff as I say, "We'd have figured out something! Anything! As long as you didn't have

to leave, but I guess I was the only one who wanted that, wasn't I?"

"You know that's not true, Eva. I want to be with you just as much as you want to be with me.

Everything I've done until now—"

"Were for me, yeah, I know. " I nod, rubbing my eyes again. "Except I didn't ask you to do them, and I

didn't want you to either. " He remains silent and I drop my head, sniffing back several times before I lift

my gaze to him, "You can't keep doing this to me. You can't keep hurting me because you thought your

decision was right, only for it to be wrong in the end. I won't allow you to do that anymore. "

"Eva, " his bottom lips quiver as he lets out my name. "What are you saying?"

I let out a shaky breath as I lift my head to the sky, holding back the tears before I let out my next

words, "We didn't get to do this last time, but I'm doing it now. I'm making my decision. This is where it

ends, Emerson. The pains and the tears. This is where we—"

"No!" He shouts, taking long strides to close the gap between our bodies and I watch him, my tears

falling uncontrollably as he gets on his knees before me and wraps his hands around my legs, gripping

them tightly. "No, you can't do that, Eva. You won't tell me you want to break up with me. " His head

falls against my thigh and I turn my head away from the sight, the tremble in each of his words only

making my heart ache the more. "You can't leave me, Eva. Not now. Please you can't do that to me.

Tell me, Eva. Tell me you won't say those words to me. Tell me you—" his voice breaks at the end, and

my own tears don't stop.

Then he speaks again. "Look at me, Eva. Tell me that you're not leaving me. You promised. "

I swipe my hand over my nose and when I turn my head to meet the eyes of the man on his knees

before me with tears staining his cheeks, I see pain, I see sadness, I see fear, and most of all; I see

love.

And my hands tremble by my sides with my breath getting heavier.

~

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Every single day, I'm given reasons to drop this book, but your support is what got

me this far, and what keeps me going. We're in the rough part of the book, and I make sure to plan my

plot well enough so that every sentence spoken and decisions made solves the puzzle. For why

Emerson left Eva when he had no plan; if you pay attention to the conversation between him and his

dad, or his brother, you'll have your answer and for why Eva couldn't find the note; if you go back to

that particular chapter, you'll find your answer. I always make sure I leave the details, so it'll come to

make sense when the full story is revealed.

After the negative comments from the previous chapter because some of you couldn't understand why

it's headed this way; I almost didn't write today, but like I said, your support is what keeps me going and

my thanks goes to Yubi and Paola cooper for rereading several times and sharing their thoughts just to

understand the meaning behind the chapter. And to DD625, Gigi, Tiffany Schramm, Dana Zagaria

Leshock, Teedu_b and Eliza Urbanik for their positive feedback because those are what got me

through the negative ones. I'm thankful for you all, as well as to the rest who dropped gems despite the

heavy chapter! Thank you for reading (^^)