Forbidden Heat R18

“No, Madame. Is he a friend of yours that got lost? Should I help you search for him?” the guard offered with genuine concern.

“No! It’s ok…I…I have to go…” I said in a hurry before sprinting away.

I can’t waste any more time. Where could Reiner be?

I stopped in my tracks when a thought suddenly hit me.

The tree.

Without any more thought, I started sprinting to that old tree where I had spent time with him around when we first met. I was breathless by the time that I arrived. Then my heart almost stopped as I spotted a silhouette of a tall man deep in the dimly lit garden.

“R! Please wait! R!” I shouted so loud that I was shocked at how loud I could be.

I ran towards him as fast as I could, ignoring the tall grass and dry leaves scratching at my feet and ankles. There was no way he couldn’t hear me at this distant.

Although the man did not make an attempt to walk away, he did not turn to face me. I ran up to him and hugged him tightly from behind. I knew for certain from the first moment that I touched him that after all these years of being apart, I had finally come in contact with Reiner once again.

“Sorry Madame, but I think you’ve got the wrong person,” the man replied stiffly.

How could I be wrong when he smells just the same as I have always remembered?

No…I didn’t make a mistake. I would never make a mistake on this…

Although he told me that I made a mistake, he did not shake off my embrace. I hugged him tighter as I felt tears sting my eyes. I felt so relief that he was…still alive. That was all I needed. I just needed to know that he was ok…

“…My apologies. You just look so much like someone that I long to see. I promised myself that if I ever had a chance to see him again, I would tell him that I forgave him for everything so long ago. That I never held anything against him, that it wasn’t his fault…that it was all an ill-fated mistake…and that I’m so thankful for everything he’s done for me…and the last gift he’s given me…” I said as all the bottled-up feelings inside of me spilled out all at once.

I don’t know how many times I’ve dreamt of this moment and rehearsed what I wanted to say to him to myself. However, now that it was finally happening, I couldn’t remember what I wanted or needed to say at all. I just wanted him to live a happy life…a life free of any guilt. I wanted this man to be free.

I was no fool. I knew that we couldn’t go back to what we were and even if we could, I would never choose to do it at the expense of abandoning my loving husband and children. However, for just this once, I wanted to be the old selfish and childishly passionate Natalia…

“…Madame…” the man whispered.

It hurts, he won’t even say my name. However, he did slowly turn around to face me after untangling my arms from around his torso.

The moonlight and the garden lighting provided barely enough light for me to make out his face. However, it wasn’t necessary. I didn’t care what he looked like right now after all these years or if he could see my tear-streaked face. I could remember his face as if I had just seen him an hour ago…

Finally, he’s standing in front of me again and I can reach him. This time, hopefully, my feelings will reach him too…

“I’ll take care of him…” I stated firmly as I stood up as tall as I could and looked into his blue eyes.

I saw a look I couldn’t quite place cross Reiner’s expression and I knew that he understood who I was referring to. Our son.

“I was young, and I was in love, so I made that selfish decision on my own. Do you think…that he would forgive me?” I asked earnestly. Would Reiner forgive me?

Reiner was silent and suddenly it was all silent around us. The sound of the night wind howling softly was all that I could hear. That and the sound of my heart beating in my chest.

“…of course, he would, Madame,” Reiner said as a small smile formed on his lips.

“Natalia…” I said my own name desperately as I grabbed one of his very large hands with both of my own.

“Just once…please…call me Natalia,” I begged as big drops of tears rolled down both my cheeks.

I bit my lip anxiously as time continued to flow between us. Our eyes locked as I silently pleaded for him to fulfill another of my selfish requests. Reiner’s face remained an emotionless mask as if he was a sculpture made of stone.

“…Natalia,” Reiner finally said.

His other large hand patted the top of my head softly as he said my name. I didn’t know if it was my own imagination of not, but I thought his voice and the way he said my name was exactly the same as all those years ago.

Without another word, Reiner let go of my hand and turned to leave.

I watched his back silently as he walked further and further away from me. I didn’t chase after him because I knew that it would be useless. I had said all that I wanted and needed to say. I wouldn’t run after him even if I wanted to and, to be honest, I didn’t want to.

Edward, I’m making the right choice…this is my ‘true north’ choice.

“Thank you for the cake!” I called after him, but he never turned around.Nôvel/Dr(a)ma.Org - Content owner.

I knew that I probably won’t ever see him again, but I would never forget him or the memories that we shared and that was more than enough for me. If I ever needed a reminder of him, all I had to do was look at our son’s cheerful face. Afterall, that was the only piece of Reiner that I could keep to myself…

–To be continued…