FORBIDDEN AFFECTIONS: ADDICTED TO MY STEPMOM

I forced myself to forget what had happened and continued to immerse myself in the operations of my flower shop business. I had been receiving quite a number of orders from both new and existing clients, which was not surprising given that the holiday season was drawing near. Fortunately, I haven’t heard anything from Jack or his family since that fateful day, either. It was enough to buy me some time to gather my thoughts and get a grip on the situation.

It had been only a week since Jack and Crista threw a welcome party for their new home. Things between Jack and me have changed dramatically over the last year. Jonah advised me that despite all that had transpired between Jack and I as well as how tense the situation had become, I should still face him with an open heart. Because he was still my son despite everything that had happened and regardless of whether or not we had been fighting with each other.

No one, not even Jack and I ourselves, has ever been able to fully explain what went down between us. We were the only ones who knew the truth about what happened and the feelings we had at that time. And we’d rather keep things the way they are. At least, t hat was the way I wanted things to be.

But I wasn’t sure about Jack and his thoughts. And our most recent encounter didn’t help me figure it out either. He had changed, after all… I had no idea what he was thinking when I saw him that day.

“Your mind is wandering too far, Mars. Would you mind telling me what’s going on?” Jonah commented during one of their visits together with her son Gio.

While I was having a conversation with Jonah, Gio and Amy were now sitting at a table in the flower shop having fun together. I filled her in on what had happened prior to my visit to Jack’s residence.

“I have no idea, Jonah… Is it possible that Jack despises me?” I asked her. She was aware that Jack and I had a misunderstanding on the day he and his wife left for New Zealand.

Jonah took a drink of her coffee and smiled, “Mars, I’ll tell you something. If there is anything about Jack that sets him apart from the other members of his clan… It’s the fact that he has a huge, huge, huge space in his heart just for you. I’ve seen it, heard it, and proven it over and over again. You are very important to him, and he cares very much about you.” She glanced at me and continued to emphasize, “Jack loves you so much, Mars. There is no way that he could possibly hate you.”

Of course I was aware. Jack cared about me… More than anyone could ever know, and more than I could ever hope to understand, myself. Then again, that was back then. I had no idea what kind of feelings he had for me at the time. The way he spoke to me confused me. The tone of his voice… Was it done out of love or hatred? I couldn’t tell.

“Your son has such a deep love and admiration for you. Ever since he was a little boy, he has never stopped talking about anyone other than you. When he goes out of town with his friends, he doesn’t even go that far, does he? It’s because he constantly wants to either take you along with him or be in a location where he can still get to you quickly if you need his help. That’s how much he cares about you. Also, I remember when he was in his puberty days, I asked him what he wanted to be. Do you want to know what his answer was?” Jonah asked.

My pulse was racing as I tried to process what Jonah had just said. I was completely overwhelmed. “What was his response?”

“He said he wanted to be your husband.” Jonah grinned and burst into a hearty chuckle.

“He… He said that? I asked in disbelief.

Jonah gave a cheerful nod and smile while responding, “Yes, sis.” That is why, on that particular day, I confirmed it for myself. Aki is a mama’s boy. Marianne, he has a deep affection for you. So whatever misunderstanding you and he had before he went will also be resolved soon. Moreover, he is now an adult. He can’t stay upset at his dear mother for a long time.”

I gave Jonah a look before letting out a heavy sigh. Maybe she was correct after all. I had been there for Jack throughout his entire life. Even if we didn’t talk about our past, anybody who knew us knew that Jack cared about me. As his mother, I was one of the people he genuinely cared about.

Could I really start over with Jack as his mother?

I tried to get my mind off of all the worries that kept coming up. I returned my attention to my shop after Jonah had left. I had a couple orders come in, which meant that I had to complete twice as much work as I normally would.

After a few moments had passed, I was startled to hear the phone abruptly ring. I couldn’t help but become completely still when I heard the unexpected sound, and it was almost as if I could feel the air leaving my lungs.

I grabbed up my phone from the table with trembling hands and opened it to see the new message and the sender’s name.

“Hi, Marianne. The restaurant that I have been telling you about for the past several times is now taking reservations. I can make a reservation right now, and you can bring Amy with you if you want. Please let me know if you’re available.” – Ryan

I exhaled a big, nervous breath as I read the message. What in the world was I thinking? It was just Ryan.

I stared at the screen, trying to compose my thoughts before reading his message again.

Soon, I typed my reply and sent it to Ryan. I accepted to Ryan’s request because I didn’t have anything else to do afterwards anyway. Ryan has been there for me the entire time while Jack has been gone and has been doing everything he can to make me happy. Honestly, I’m grateful for everything he’s done for me and my family. There are also instances when I find myself thinking that both my responsibilities and life in general would be simpler if I were with Ryan. However, I wasn’t the kind to rush into things, especially when it came to potential romantic partnerships and particularly when I was already aware of how I felt about the other person.All text © NôvelD(r)a'ma.Org.

I decided not to bring Amy with me and instead asked Violet, the 18-year-old girl who lives next door and had been watching over Amy anytime I needed to get out of the house for a few hours or so. She had proposed it herself a few months ago, claiming that she had been attempting to work and earn money to help pay for her tuition. As a matter of fact, she was a nice child who had assisted me on numerous previous occasions; so, when I left Amy in her care, I naturally felt at ease.

It was about six o’clock in the evening when I arrived at a restaurant mentioned by Ryan.

Chandeliers hang from the ceilings, and vibrant and stylish ornaments decorate the space, intermingling with the perfect ambience provided by jazz music playing in the background. It exuded the elegant and romantic vibe that was very fitting for the red dress that I selected for the evening, which made me feel both delighted and relieved on the inside. It had been a long time since I had gone on a dinner date and enjoyed the night like this again, so I made the decision to prepare myself well for this occasion and did the best I could to appear beautiful. To my relief, the decisions I had taken turned out to be the best ones for tonight.

As soon as he spotted me, Ryan’s face lit up. He took me to the table and explained that he had reserved it a couple of hours previously by calling the restaurant. When he suddenly grabbed something from behind him, I couldn’t help but be a little taken aback; it turned out to be a bouquet of red roses.

“I know you don’t need it because you’re surrounded by flowers every day, but tonight is a special occasion. I just wanted to tell you that you look absolutely stunning today, Marianne,” Ryan said this to me with a smile, his eyes twinkling especially brightly as he looked at me from head to toe.

What he said made me chuckle, but it also made me feel slightly embarrassed. I cautiously took the bouquet into my hands and gazed at it, noticing how the red velvety petals of the flowers stood out to my eyes. These flowers have a sense of vibrancy and luxury about them. I gave Ryan a quick look over before beaming at him and said, “Thank you for this.”

The server came a few moments later and offered us a variety of starters, after which he brought the main course. In addition to that, they served us red wine, which was one of my favorites.

As we carried on with our conversation, Ryan and I raised our glasses and I continued to drink the wine. My anxiousness gradually dissipated, and I was able to take complete pleasure in the chats we were having. There were a few jokes that were spoken here and there, and I noticed that my laughter was becoming more and more real as the conversation continued. There were times when I had to stifle my own laughter in order to avoid disturbing the people at the table next to me.

This evening was going really well with Ryan, and I couldn’t be more thankful for the decision that I made. It was a good idea to spend a bit more time with him.

But just as I was about to think that, I was proven wrong yet again…

“Auntie?” came a voice from behind me.

At the sound of that voice, my heart sank. As I gently turned around to face the source of the sound, it was as if I were experiencing déjà vu. “Crista…”

“I can’t believe that Auntie is here as well! It truly is a small world! ” Crista yelled in ecstasy as she rushed to give me a hug and cut me off before I could even continue to speak.

I took a deep breath in as I briefly looked at Crista, and then, very slowly, my eyes moved to the figure that was standing behind her.

As I had expected, Aki was there, standing silently with no expression on his face. Yet, when his eyes went to greet mine, they seemed to gleam. With an emotion, whether it was hate or love, whether it was disappointment or excitement – that I failed to grasp.