Ex-Husband's Regret

65 Heart to heart

“Ava can we please talk?” mother pleads when I move to leave.

1 stare at her, not sure what she wanted. What was there to talk about? Hasn’t everything already

been said and done?

“There isn’t anything for us to talk about, Mother” I insist.

Looking back, I see now how I made a distinction when it came to her and father. While Emma and Travis referred to them as mom and dad, to me they were Father and Mother. Clean, cut and

completely impersonal.

I never truly acknowledged them as my parents, because deep down I just knew. Parents don’t hate their children. Parents don’t neglect their child and treat them like shit. I made what I called them impersonal because on a spiritual level, I didn’t consider them my parents.

“Please, I beg you” she pleads with tears in her eyes.

It was so strange looking at her with tears in her eyes. Her face flushed and soft. This is a look I’ve never seen her direct at me. Her face was always in a frown. She always looked at me with a certain cold indifference that was specifically targeted at me.

“How about you show me to our table as they talk?” Martha, Rowan’s mom asks Corrine while

cutting off what I was about to say.

Corrine looks skeptical. Like she didn’t want to leave me. After all, it was known that the Sharp family weren’t my biggest fan even though I was apparently their daughter.

Martha doesn’t give Corrine a chance. Instead she links their hands and pulls her away in the

opposite direction.

I sigh and take my seat. “Let’s just get this over with, looks like you won’t leave me alone until

you’ve said your piece, so do it now before I change my mind” I tell her coldly.

I used to adore this woman back in my younger days. When I was around five or six. That quickly

changed when I realized that she didn’t feel the same way. It changed when I realized she treated

me as if I was more of a burden, than a daughter.

She hesitantly takes her seat before taking my hands in hers. I pull them away. Not wanting her

to touch me. I didn’t want her near me. The part of me that had longed for such moments was long

Tm sorry, Ava More than you’ll ever know” she whispers, folding into herself.

Instead of saying anything. I keep quiet. I always imagined this moment. Always day dreamed of her apologizing to me, then pulling me into her arms. I used to crave it. Pray for it. Hope for the day to come. Now that it’s here, the joy I thought I would feel is nonexistent. I feel absolutely nothing as I stare at her.

The way I treated you was wrong. You were just a child and instead of embracing you, I pushed you away. You loved me, loved us, but we gave you nothing but scorn. I wish more than anything that I could go back in time and change things. Go back and be the mother you deserved” she said

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“I never saw your value. Never acknowledged that you’re the best daughter anyone can have. It took almost losing you to realize how much you mean to me”

She was full on crying. If I was my old self, then her tears would have moved me. I wasn’t though,

and her tears meant absolutely nothing to me.

Years of pain. More than twenty five years of hurting. It can’t be erased by a few drops of tears. It just doesn’t work like that. It would heaven’s intervention inorder for that to happen.

“Look, let’s cut to the crap okay? If this is about the threat my mother made on your company, we can discuss it as adults. There is no need for you to try and sweeten me up, that shit won’t work. Instead of all the drama, why don’t you tell me the real reason you wanted us to talk” I tell her

emotionlessly.

I see hurt flash in her eyes, but I don’t care. She’s been hurting me for years. This was nothing compared to what I had to endure at her hands and that of her family.

Besides, I wasn’t sure why she looked hurt. I was sure that the only reason she was here was to try

and save their family company.

“It hurts that you would think that of me. That you would think that the only reason I was apologizing was so I could save the company. Then again I have no one to blame but myself. It’s

because of my own actions that you find me so untrustworthy”

Looking at her now, you couldn’t tell she was the same woman who used to yell at me for the

slightest mistake. Who used to treat me like I didnt matter. It was so weird. We’ve never had a

heart to heart, so sitting here as she pours out her heart is a bit unsettling.

“I truly want your forgiveness. I want to be your mother in every way. I want to build what I shattered I want to win back the love I so carelessly threw away”

I sigh. “I don’t want to come off as mean, but first of all you’re not my mother. The DNA test report I have back at home can prove that. Second, that ship sailed a long time ago. You and me? Being close? That will never happen. Lastly, I don’t want you in my life. In fact, I would prefer if you and your children continued ignoring me like I didn’t exist. You did it for close to three decades, it shouldn’t be a hardship for you to continue doing it”

Some would say I was being ungrateful and maybe I was. The only thing they gave me was materialistic in nature. For me, the emotional aspect may be more important than material things. Knowing now what I know, I would have preferred if they had dumped me in an orphanage

instead

“Please don’t say that. Don’t say it’s too late” her soft pleading voice pulls me to the present.

“But it’s the truth. You’re more than twenty five years too late”

She wipes her tears. Determination etched on her face. “I won’t give up on you, Ava. You’re still my daughter and I’ll do anything to get your love back”

I breathe out and rub my temples. I could already feel a migraine coming on.

I don’t say anything as she stands up. Nor do I look up. She can continue being delusional for all I care, but nothing was going to make me change my mind. I feel nothing when it comes to her. She managed to kill the love I had for her and I don’t see that changing anytime soon.

“Before I go, I wanted to give you this. Your father told me to give it to you before he died. I just

never got a chance to”

I don’t acknowledge her. Instead I continue ignoring her. When she sees this, she lets out a sigh

and places something on the table.

It’s after she walks away that I look at what she left. I’m shocked to find a piece of paper that had

bloody finger prints.

Only after looking at it for over five minutes that it hits me. This piece of paper is the same one

that I saw father handing over to her before he went to surgery.