Episode 15
Kristen’s [POV]
I had to admit it I was freaking out just a little bit. He had asked me out.
Okay, so maybe he hadn’t asked me out…
But he was taking me out to a restaurant for dinner.
Yes, it was after work, and we’d be dressed professionally, and we’d probably spend the whole night talking about the company and the recent business merger that went through, but it was still dinner…
Alone… With Jake. I ran to the bathroom the first chance I got and stared at my reflection in the mirror.
I was glad I had opted for the white blouse today, but I still looked like someone’s secretary.
“Stop it,” I told myself.
“Who cares what you’re wearing; this is not a date. It’s just an apology dinner.”
It was hard to calm down, however, and I found myself reaching into my purse and refreshing my lipstick, and straightening out my hair as though I was getting ready for the date.
When seven o’clock came around, I found myself checking the time every five seconds. Finally, Jake emerged at seven-ten.
“Are you ready to head out?” he asked casually.
“Yes,” I nodded. We walked together towards the company parking lot where Jake had a special parking spot cordoned off, especially for him.
To my utter surprise, he held the passenger side door open for me.
I slipped into the seat and tried to remember the take deep breaths.
A moment later, Jake slid into place beside me, and we headed off.
His car was a fancy sports model, but I was more impressed with his driving.
He was sensible on the roads and didn’t drive like he had an ego.
When we got to the restaurant, it was unbelievably crowded. I looked awkwardly at Jake.Contentt bel0ngs to N0ve/lDrâ/ma.O(r)g!
“Um, I think we might need a reservation to get in here.”
“Don’t worry,” he replied.
“We have one.” I was oddly flattered that he had called earlier in the evening to book a table.
We were led to the back of the restaurant which featured little alcoves partially cut off from the rest of the space and offering up a little privacy.
I slipped into the booth and reminded myself to breathe again.
We ordered our food immediately, and Jake took the liberty of ordering drinks, too.
Then the waiter disappeared, and it was just Jake and me, sitting across the table from one another.
“You must be relieved that Hatanaka and Company agreed to the deal,” I said, blurting out the one safe thing I had thought about on the way here because I was too afraid of the silence.
“I am,” Jake nodded.
“It’ll ease up things considerably for the company, and it means we can expand our budgets in a few places.”
“That’s great,” I said.
“How was Mr. Hatanaka?” Jake raised his eyebrows.
“Do you care?” I snorted with laughter.
“Not really.”
“I didn’t think so.”
“I just…”
“Talking about work is safe,” he said, finishing my sentence much more eloquently than I would have.
“I get it.” He was different tonight, and I could see the change in his face.
He was smiling with his eyes, not just with his mouth.
His dark blue eyes were clearer and more open, and he seemed more relaxed, too, as though talking to me earlier had released all the frustration he had pent up throughout the last few weeks.
“Did I mention how sorry I am for what happened the night you babysat Noah?” he said. I smiled.
“You’ve already apologized, Jake.”
“I know, but given how late it was, I think I need to reiterate,” he said.
“And, as you mentioned yourself…you could have been raped or murdered. And if your dismembered corpse had been found in some alleyway, I would have been devastated.” I blushed scarlet.
“Oh God,” I said, putting my head in my hands.
“I wrote that, didn’t I?”
“You did,” he replied, and he sounded intensely amused.
“Is there any way you could delete that email?” I groaned.
“Not a chance,” he said, shaking his head.
“I quite liked that email, once I got over all the insults; it was quite interesting to read.”
“You’re making fun of me now, aren’t you?”
“Only in the best possible way.” I laughed.
“Is there such a thing?”
“Of course,” Jake nodded. The waiter brought over our drinks, and I took a sip and allowed myself to relax a little.
Now that we were out of the stifling air of the office, I found that I was a little more at ease.
“How is Noah?” I asked, repeating my question from this morning.
“He’s good,” Jake replied. Then he let out a big sigh.
“I didn’t know about his leaf project until you mentioned it.”
“Well…you’re busy.”
“Too busy for my son?” It sounded like this was something he beat himself up about all the time.
“I should have known about the damn project. I should have been there to help him with it.”
“That’s the thing about being a single parent,” I said comfortingly.
“You can’t be there for everything.”
“He’s such a good kid.” Jake sounded sad.
“He deserves better.”
“He has a father who loves him,” I said.
“In my opinion, he’s already won. Trust me, I never had a father who cared, and it affected me a lot growing up.” I felt instantly exposed as Jake’s eyes landed on me.
To pass over the moment, I jumped ahead before he could ask me about my deadbeat dad or sordid past.
“Noah knows how much you love him,” I said.
“He talked about you a lot when I was babysitting him.”
“Did he?” Jake asked, sounding pleased and maybe even a little hopeful.
“Of course,” I nodded.
“He spoke about how brave you were when you were a ‘fighter,’ as he put it, and how you row boats now.” Jake smiled.
“He hasn’t quite figured out what I do now.”
“Give him a few years.” “Right,” he laughed.
It was so strange to me how different he was.
This was not Jake the CEO or Jake the single father or even Jake, Major in the military.
This was Jake without all the titles and roles.
This was the man as he truly was, without the constraints or responsibilities of all the things connected to him.
It was this change that made me see what Daphne would have seen in him all those years ago. He was not just a handsome man.
He was charming, he was funny, he was interesting, and in little unexpected moments, he could be vulnerable, too.
I could sense that my attraction to him was beginning to grow, and it was starting to scare me.
That was not the point of this dinner.
That was not the point of me entering his life.
“Jake?” I said, starting gently.
“Yes?”
“You never really explained to me why you got so mad that night before you…ah…asked me to leave.”
Jake smiled at the diplomatic way I chose to phrase my sentence.
He paused for only a second, but I realized he wanted to answer me.
“I worry about Noah a lot,” he said at last.
“He’s a sensitive kid, and he tends to form attachments fast, especially to women.”
It was the closest he had ever come to mentioning Daphne, and I felt a little pang in the pit of my stomach.
I knew I was being deceitful by sitting opposite him without ever mentioning the fact that I knew his wife, but I couldn’t bring myself to say so now.
I couldn’t bear the thought that he might get up and walk out. I wanted him to open up to me…
That hope by itself told me that I was way over my head, but it was impossible to extricate myself from the situation now.
“Oh,” I said, waiting for him to continue.
“He has only me, and I’m not around half the time. He doesn’t have grandparents anymore, and my wife and I were both only children. After school, he spends all his time with Janet, and…she’s not the warmest person in the world. I don’t think she has much patience for children.”
“She did seem a little disinterested,” I agreed.
“Mind you, I only met her for five minutes.”
“She came so highly recommended that I thought I couldn’t go wrong,” he sighed.
“But I’m thinking of finding someone new for Noah. He needs someone who will love him, someone who will nurture him. He needs to have a strong, healthy mother figure in his life.”
“Is that why you got so upset?” I asked.
“You saw me with Noah and”
“It stirred up a few things for me,” Jake said, interrupting me.
“Some related, but others not so much. I’d just had a long week, and I had been drinking for the first time in months. The combination wasn’t the best.” I nodded.
“It’s understandable.” “You’re sweet,” he smiled.
“I didn’t expect you to forgive me so willingly.”
“I could tell that you meant it when you apologized to me…at least the second time around,” I smiled. He nodded.
“You’re not from San Diego, are you?”
“No,” I replied, tensing slightly.
If I wasn’t careful, this line of questioning could lead me into real trouble.
“I’m from Michigan.”
“Tell me about your family.” I suppressed the urge to bite my lip. Instead, I smiled and shrugged.
“Nothing much to tell… I had a non-existent father, a naive mother with her head stuck in the clouds, and a pet rabbit that I called Thumper.”
“Thumper?” he repeated.
“As in Bambi?”
“Wow, you know your Disney.”
“I have a four-year-old,” he replied.
“I have to.”
“Still, it’s impressive,” I said.
“See? You’re doing something right as a father.” Jake smiled at my compliment, but he didn’t comment on it.
Instead, he picked up the last thread of conversation seamlessly and ran with it.
“So, you were an only child, too?” I nodded.
“I was,” I said.
“It was lonely growing up without any brothers or sisters. Which was why Thumper was so important to me. My father moved back in with us when I was about eleven. And since he hated all animals, Thumper had to go.”
“That’s awful.”
“I cried for weeks,” I admitted.
“It was honestly like someone had died.”
“He was in and out of your life, huh?”
“Pretty much,” I nodded.
“He was one of those guys leading a double life… He used us when he needed to and then left us high and dry when he had better opportunities on the horizon.” Jake’s eyes were gentle all of a sudden.
“It must have been hard growing up like that.” I shrugged awkwardly.
“Thank you for this dinner,” I said because I was grateful, but also because I wanted to change the subject.
“You don’t have to thank me; this dinner was more than deserved.”
“Does this mean you’ll stop being an ass to me at work?” He smiled.
“I can do that.”
“Good,” I said.
“That’ll make my life a whole lot easier.”
We spent the whole night talking and laughing about different trivial things.
And the more time I spent with just Jake, I realized that I was in real danger of falling down the rabbit hole.