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Chapter 75
As I sat alone m my room with my hair rolled down and all s**red in my face, my mind worked like a f***g dog without my permission and replayed the kiss with Brax over and over again. It was like a broken tape that I was desperately begging to get out of my head, almost traumatic it you could i it that. I was about to lose my f**g mind thinking about
ly was all okay when he kissed me on the forehead and on the cheek, it could be anything. It could mean anything I wanted it to mean but a kiss on the lips could only mean one thing and Glidn’t realize how uneasy it would be to accept it. I knew that he was everything that I needed and it was why I agreed to the date in the first place and the fact that I felt indebted to him was also another factor that I considered but I realized that was so used to him as a friend than a romantic partner.
I knew that it would get better but it was still a little unsettling and it wee going to take more than a little while to get used to.
I couldn’t believe I was still thinking about Aston, despite the fact that he had clearly moved on and didn’t care about me. Nothing was even more regretful than the fact that I knew where exactly this was headed before I started it and I still did it anyway. I knew that it would only lead me into ruins but my lust was in full control of my mind and body.
It took over me and ruled my stupid mind and now I was bearing the brunt of it. I felt so much shame than I had ever felt in my entire life 1 fr so used. Like I was the most stupid person in the entire world. I felt like everyone already knew what was going on. I knew fully well that Land Aston were the only one that knew about the things that happened between us but I still felt so insecure about everything.
The maids would whisper past me and I would get literal chills thinking that my life was about to take an even more The dramatic tum towards the downward slope. I felt so guilty and I wondered how Brax would feel if he knew the things that I did with his brother. The dirty, dirty things that his brother did to me. The way he held me close, the way he handled me roughly too. I liked how commanding he was even though it was what annoyed me about him the most, it still turned me the f***k on. It was the most confusing feeling in the history of feelings and explaining it would be as easy as chewing broken glass
If I didn’t get it, how the hell was I supposed to explain it to anyone. Even to my***g self because I needed answers as
well
It had been over two weeks since he last summoned me, and I was both relieved and hurt by his neglect. I ought to be feeling just relieved seeing as he was the one who captured me, imprisoned me, tortured me and treated me like complete trash but I also could not help but miss him.
I remembered the way Aston would force me to eat, the way he would save me from difficult situations, and the way he would make me feel in bed. How could man be so two faced? It was confusing as hell! Did he love me, did he not? Was he being good to me? Was he being bad to me? He needed to pick one and stop being so freaking confusing.NôvelDrama.Org holds text © rights.
Why would he try to kill me and then proceeds to ceremoniously save me from drowning?
Why would he dedicate his days to making me suffer and then come running when I was sick? Turning up he was a freaking superhero!
Why would he kiss me, hold and f***k me so hard if he was just going to go back to **g someone entirely different in only a few days. Did I really mean so little to him?
Was I the only one that felt all the things from that night? Was I really the only one? I thought we had a connection?! I felt so *g s**id but the most annoying part of it was how I still missed him!
I was angry at myself for missing him, for remembering these things. I was angry at him for not caring about me, for only using me when he was bored. I felt like I was just a toy to him, a plaything to be used and discarded. Ally feelings didn’t matter when they only served to contradict themselves and met
How could I feel hate and love at the same time towards the same person? Why would I want to drive a knife down his throat and rip open his stomach and also want to take care of him?
TUC, VLI U
Why would I even still have the head space to miss him when I was already with someone so much better? Someone that would treat me so much better than Aston was even capable of
But I was also grateful to Brax for showing me kindness and respect, for making me feel seen and heard. I knew I should be happy to be free from Axton’s grasp, but a part of me still longer for him and I couldn’t wait to get rid of that stupid part of
1 felt like I was tom between two worlds – the world of slavery and the world of freedom. I wanted to be free, but a part of me was still trapped in the past and I refused to be mad at myself. It was not my fault. That stupid mate bond was to blame, it was because of it that I was feeling all these stupid emotions towards Aston.
I took off my clothes and stepped into the shower to take a hot bath and forget about the two brothers that were threatening to drive me crazy with their contrasting behaviour.
Tomorrow, I would face whatever new thing cane but tonight. I was going to sleep.
The next day. Brax offered to give me a tour of the palace, and accepted hoping to distract myself from my thoughts. A tour didn’t sound so bad even though I was still a little confused on how to art after the kiss we shared. It felt like I was dating for the first time. I didn’t really have a lot of experience when it came to romantic getaways.
As we walked through the grand halls, I felt a sense of wonder and awe. The palace was even more beautiful than I had imagined, with intricate carvings and paintings covering every face. Everything looked like they took it personally. I don’t know if he was making it up or not but every design on the wall, every little details that I never paid attention to seemed to have a story behind it.
We walked through the gardens, the library, and the great hall, Brax telling me stories about the history of the palace and the people who had lived there. (Which wee a lot!)
We stopped in front of a beautiful fountain, and Brax took my hand, his eyes shining with excitement. “This is my favourite part of the palace,” he said. “It’s where I come to think and reflect I wasn’t surprised in the least. He loved nature.
I smiled, feeling a connection to him or at least trying to feel it. “It’s beautiful,” I said. “I can see why it’s your favourite.” We spent a little time around the fountain and decided to leave.
But then, we ran into Mara, who congratulated me on getting together with “this trash” – her words for Brax. She sneered at me, her eyes full of disdain…
“You’re really lowering your standards, Kira,” she said, “First, Aston, now Brax. You’re like a pawn, a plaything for the men in this palace.”
I felt a surge of anger at her words, but Brax just smiled and took my hand, leading me away from her poisonous words. “Don’t mind her, Kira,” he said. “She doesn’t know what she’s talking about. She’s just jealous of our happiness.” I would say the same too but her words felt really personal. It was the first time I had seen her try to talk back at Brax, she was always so quiet when they were both in front of Aston but I guess that was her playing the victim.
I smiled back at him, feeling grateful for his support and kindness. Maybe, just maybe, I could finally move on from Aston and find happiness with Brax. Maybe I could leave the world of slavery behind and start a new life, a life of freedom and love.
As we walked away from Mara, I felt a sense of hope that I hadn’t felt in a long time. Maybe, just maybe, I could find happiness with Brax. Maybe I could learn to love again, to trust again. Maybe I could finally be free. It was a dream that no longer seemed impossible.