Always Been You

“It’s no big deal” Katherine said, trying to act like she wasn’t bothered…. And failing.

“Not really,” he continued. “My life was actually really amazing when you were in it. We spent really great times together, you know. I hated it when you left. I still don’t get why you had to leave.”

“I was doing the right thing,” Katherine said.

“Oh please” he said. “You honestly still think leaving was the right thing. Your family was right here. I was here. The truth is you just couldn’t listen. You are so smart and I just don’t understand how you couldn’t see just how bad Mitch was for you. Even after I told you”

Katherine got really upset after he said that. “You know, let’s face it. That’s the only reason why you are so mad at me, because I didn’t listen to you. Oh God forbid Jensen Packard doesn’t get his way”

“That’s not true.. And you know it. We had something amazing between us. It’s not my fault you decided to throw it away because you were scared”

Katherine ignored him and was glad when they got to her house. She pulled into the driveway and got out. Jensen followed. She walked right in front of him and poked a finger in his chest.

“There was nothing between us, Jensen. You made sure of that. And if there was anyone who was scared, it was you. You were scared of responsibility… That’s why you turned me down that night. So don’t put that on me” she yelled.

Before he could reply. She walked away from him and walked to the front door. He followed her.

He stood behind her as she rummaged through her purse with shaking fingers in search of her keys.

“Damn it” she cursed when she couldn’t find them.

“Relax,” Jensen said, but she ignored him and continued searching for them. He sighed and took the purse from her. He fished through and finally extracted her keys and reached past her to unlock the door.

Katherine brushed past him as they walked into the house. She dropped her purse and phone on the table and brushed past him again.

She went to the truck, grabbed a box and carried it inside the house. Jensen watched as she dropped it on the floor.

“Listen to me, Kat” he said, but from the look on her face it was obvious she was going to ignore him. She was about to walk past him again when he stopped her.

He grabbed her and pulled her towards him. “Dammit, Kat,” he said. “I shouldn’t have left you that way. I’m sorry that I hurt you, I didn’t mean to but I thought that I was doing the right thing. You deserved better than what I had to offer you. I was so stupid back then. But then when I was ready you were with some other guy and I didn’t know how to handle it”.

His voice was quiet, laced with regret. His gaze darkened and sincerity glimmered in the dark golden depths. “I shouldn’t have turned you down, Kat”

“And so you blame me for not sitting back and waiting till you were ready. So I was just supposed to sit back and wait for you. You were pissed at me for doing the exact same thing you did. I was there for you, Jensen. Every damn time. Hanging out with you, being your best friend, bringing you cookies almost every day but you just couldn’t look at me the way I looked at you. It was so obvious I wanted you… How did you not see it? Or maybe you just didn’t want to”

Jensen knew he had to say something but he couldn’t. He opened his mouth but no words came out.

Katherine continued.”You were just too busy with all the girls, and having a good time to notice me. And when I finally thought you did, it turns out I was just someone you used to pass the time”Exclusive content © by Nô(v)el/Dr/ama.Org.

“That’s not true, Kat”. He said.

“I don’t care Jensen. You have no right to lecture me about Mitch. You have no right to blame me for the way things ended between us.”

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m sorry about what I said, Kat. I should have understood that you had feelings for me back then and I’m sorry I didn’t notice. That wasn’t fair. I couldn’t see what I had.” he paused, then added. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“What?” she asked.

“Why didn’t you ever tell me how you felt?” he repeated.

Katherine hesitated. She knew it was partly her fault. She knew should have said something to him but she had been so scared of him rejecting her. Which was exactly what he did. The question pissed her off even more.

“Because I shouldn’t have had to, Jensen” she yelled. She had rehearsed this moment in her dreams so many times when she had been so hurt. He had said he was sorry and she had proceeded to tell him what a low life scum bag he was. But now, with the regret swimming in his eyes. She couldn’t seem to find the words.

His words echoed in her head. ‘I shouldn’t have turned you down’.

His admission sent a burst of joy through her head and sent a burst of joy through her. Not satisfaction or a sense of justice. But joy.

As in, she still cared.

After all these years, she still felt for him.

She did.

And she wanted him. Maybe coming here and being alone with him wasn’t such a good idea. She was so close to jumping his bones right now. She ignored the flutter in her chest.

“I need to start bringing those boxes inside. There’s a lot of work to do” she said.

She tried to move away but he wouldn’t let her. He moved and blocked her path. She stared up at him. “What?” she asked.

Jensen didn’t reply. She had really beautiful eyes. He thought. And they looked misty, like she was about to cry. He didn’t want her to. He didn’t want to be the reason why she cried.

He stared at her, and he knew he was going to kiss her again. It was folly of the highest caliber. Considering the fact that she was really mad at him at the moment and seconds ago she looked like she wanted to scratch his eyes out. But he was going to do it anyway.

And once he made up his mind, he didn’t think anything could have stopped him.