Alec’s

I've never really thought about my death. Sure, I've experienced losing someone, or specifically my parents, but I have never really thought about my own death. Never thought about what dying would be like. Do people really think about dying? Yes, I know there are some who plan everything in case something happens to them. There are those that plan their burials way before their death... I guess the reason why I never thought about my death is because I can't bear leaving those I love behind.

My mind quickly flashes to Aspen. I turn and look at her peaceful face as she sleeps. She's so young and so full of life. I can't imagine leaving her behind. I can't imagine not being able to watch her grow.This text is property of Nô/velD/rama.Org.

My heart grows heavy at the thought. I feel like someone has it in a tight fist, and it's being squeezed. I can hardly breathe as I think of not being there for her. It brings me physical pain just imagining it. Then there is Rave, King, Beth and my pack. I've grown attached to them. It's hard to imagine letting them go.

"Sadie?" I pull my eyes from Aspen and stare at Raven. She has become more than a friend to me. She has become a sister.

Like I said, I've never thought about my death, but now I have to, because if Raven is right and that wasn't a dream but a premonition, then it means I'll probably be dying soon.

"I don't like this," Raven says, shaking her head.

"You can join the club," I say with a sigh.

Was this how it was meant to be? Was I meant to die this early in life? There is something about knowing something like this. Knowing you might die. It puts you in a certain kind of sour mood.

"I want to believe that it is just a dream. A bad dream," I begin. "It would make it easier to brush it off, but now..."

I leave the words hanging as my throat clogs because the words get stuck. I just hate this so much. I wish there was another explanation to it. One that didn't involve me dying.

I know why Raven came to that conclusion. It's normal for deities to communicate with us through dreams. They don't always send their messages through oracles. Sometimes they communicate directly to us through our dreams.

Once again, I try to get through to Nyx. I am hoping that she will tell me something, anything really. Her walls are still up though. There is no way for me to get through to her when her mental blocks are up. Sighing, I sit down on the bed and run my hand through my hair. I feel exhausted. Both mentally and physically. I just wish that things were easier.

"Don't stress too much." Raven sits down beside me and takes my hand in hers. She squeezes it reassuringly. "Maybe this is a good thing?"

I frown and look at her. "How, Raven? How is this a good thing?"

"If it's a premonition, then your goddess is trying to help you. I think that maybe she's letting you know what will happen because she wants you to change it. Remember that destinies aren't always written in stone. You can change it."

My shoulders slump as I think about her words. A glimmer of hope begins to form deep inside my soul.

"Maybe this is the reason why you had it, so that you can stop it from happening," she finishes.

I just stare at the wall, thinking it over. Can you really change something like that? Can you really stop death? Where or how will you even start? It sounds easier said than done.

I let go of Raven's hand and begin pacing. I was so antsy that it was driving me to the brink of madness. I feel like nothing has gone my way since three years ago. Since I ended up in bed with Alec.

I had so much going on that I didn't know where to start or what to do. It was starting to get too much, and I am starting to hate it.