A Werewolf, A Vampire, and A Fae Walk Into A Bar (Book 1 of The Last Witch Series)

"What in the flying f-"

"Move an inch and I'll rip your heart out through your back."

I'm sure Zev's not talking to me, but I still glance his way to see where his eyes are trained. He's clearly locked in on Darius, and he's got one of his enormous hands hovering centimeters from Rain's head. It scares the breath from my lungs, but that's as much as I dare to move. "I'm standing between the fae and the baby, fool," Darius spits back. "He moved to come back in here the second he stepped into the living room."

"The wolf flinched first, not I," Rune hisses defensively.

"I smelled aggression on one of you, and clearly, I was right," Zev says, a low growl in his throat.

Wolf? Fae? The little corner of my brain that's been warning me we're no longer in Kansas finally has the microphone. This shit is different.

"Move your paw away from the baby, Zev." Rune speaks in a tone that seems less about commanding Zev and more about protecting Rain, which is finally something I can appreciate in this excruciating standoff.

The three men say nothing, each tense from teeth to toes as they wait to see if the other might move. I finally decide to speak, though I'm half expecting I'll startle Zev and get swallowed whole.

"Each of you," I start, talking as quietly and slowly as possible, "step to the center of the room and sit in front of me. Do it now, or I'll find a way to murder all of you, so help me God."

I feel their eyes on me as they consider my pitch. While I know they don't fear for their physical safety, it does seem they either respect me or need me for something, so my words carry a little weight. After a few more seconds of stillness, they do as directed, and the feeling of getting these three to follow instructions is borderline orgasmic.

As he moves to sit, I notice a small smirk on Rune's face. It might be the first emotion I've seen other than indifference and white-hot anger. "Something funny, Runey Toons?" When in doubt, go schoolyard nicknames.

"Funny? I suppose, in its way. You say God. Singular. I always forget the simplicity of the earthly deities." His answer elicits a slight nod from Zev. "Simplicity?" I respond, a little incredulous. "If religion here is simple, I'd hate to see the complex version. How do things work where you're from, pal?"

Rune stays silent. So do the others. It seems like my prying questions are going to get a little resistance, so I opt to go all in. It helps my confidence that they are sitting criss cross applesauce like children in front of me, all lined up in a row. I smirk at that and straighten my spine as I speak.NôvelD(ram)a.ôrg owns this content.

"You clearly need something from me, and none of you are happy with the others being here. So, if you want to get on my good side, one of you assholes better tell me what the bloody hell is going on."

I notice a feeling of safety creeping in, like my body trusts the people nearby and has released some tension. It's probably just the oxytocin from nursing flooding me with a happy hormone cocktail, but it's giving me the self-assurance to make demands, and hopefully that will help me keep a little control in a life that otherwise has gone way the hell off the rails in the last few hours.

Darius clears his throat, the first to man up and answer my damn question. Rune and Zev both look at him, apparently as eager to hear what he's got to say as I am.

"There's a prophecy, one you know not of, though it exists in your world."

"Great stopping point," I barge right in, needing clear answers in a hurry. "If this is my world, where are you from?"

"A different realm, I'm not sure you can understand it." His dark eyes flick away, like he's already bored with this conversation.

I narrow my eyes at his condescending tone. "Try me."

"We're in the same spheres of time, but a different world altogether," he says, and then adds under his breath, "One safe from the plague of humanity."

I'll unpack that plague of humanity bit in a minute. "Zev, Rune, this is true?" I ask for confirmation like I'm cross-checking the alibis of three kids who cut school. Talking like a principal is one of the few ways I can fake authority when I don't feel like I've really got it. The others nod and don't offer anything new, so I look back to Darius, prompting him to continue.

"The prophecy speaks of your child: when it would be born, the star that would guide its spirit, and the incomparable importance of its soul."

He lets those words hang as though they mean something, and clearly they do, but only to a person who's in league with these whackjobs. "Okay," I shrug. "And?"

This time Zev butts in before Darius can continue. He seems to read the room a little better than his counterpart.

"Rain must leave this realm. Her soul is needed in another kingdom, for a purpose you're not ready to hear."

"Yeah, well, that's fine, because we're not going anywhere so it doesn't matter if I hear it or not." To punctuate my sentence, I quickly move my nursing child from one breast to the next, immediately regretting the decision as she nearly rips a nipple clean off. When I get her settled and look back up, I'm met with three very serious, very stern sets of eyes.

"No, you're not going anywhere, that is true," Darius says. "Rain must come alone to the vampire's kingdom."

Zev snorts. "The vampires are at the root of these problems, dear Darius."

"Don't act as though the wolves are innocent, dear Zev," Rune interrupts. "Only the fae, with our connection to nature, can truly right this."

"Hold up, so Darius, you're a vampire?"

I'm waiting for someone to pop out of a corner and tell me I'm being pranked. But when no one does and Darius gives an imperceptible nod, I shift my gaze to Zev. "And you?"

"Werewolf, or wolf spirit, or wolf shifter, we have many names," he says, as if explaining his dad's half German.

"And I am fae," Rune says with a lofty pride the other two clearly don't care for.

I'm about three seconds from unleashing some serious mother bear energy on these three psychos, when a knock at the front door interrupts me.

All three guys turn their attention to the intrusion, and I stand with Rain clutched to my chest. Who could possibly be coming for the visit right now?

Darius looks unwilling to let me pass, but the pounding on the door gets louder.

"Bernie? You in there?" a voice calls from outside. "Joe called the station, said you might be in labor. I got here as soon as I could."

I glare at Darius, then share the glare with the others. "That would be the Chief of Police and a longtime family friend. If you don't let me answer that, you're going to have a much bigger problem to deal with very soon."

I mean what I say--if he thinks I'm in trouble, Chief Roland will try to give these guys hell without regard for his own safety. The question then becomes, what will these strangers do to him? And after that, what will they do to me?