A Love Restored

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POV – Julian Dante Lionelli

Ili Montefiore Rivera

Nua is a lovely girl. She’s appropriately cute, she’s sweet and kind. She’s too small for my liking, though. But she is a nice girl. She isn’t for me, though. She’s too young. And she’s not my Ginevra.

“Dante?” She steps out of a changing room, wearing an evening gown, and twirls. “Do you like this?” She looks at me hopefully. She’s so innocent, her eyes shine like a little kid’s, looking for my approval.

“Its lovely.” I assure her. “You should buy this one.”

Nua had begged and begged to go shopping with me. She wanted to get her outfit for the party Mariano is throwing us for our engagement with me. She also wants us to match, as if I’d ever do that.

“Are you sure?” She hesitates. “I know you don’t like pink. Should I get the red one?

“Just get whatever you

ou want. I don’t care.

“Oh.” She lets out, her entire expression drops. Its like kicking a fucking puppy. Why did Mariano have to go and find me the most childish girl on the planet.

I sigh. “You look beautiful in both, Nua. Get either of them.”

She goes back to the changing room and comes back dressed in her own clothes. She hands the red dress to the saleswoman, TI take this one, please.”

“Would you like to see shoes with it as well?” The saleswoman asks her, and Nua nods. She looks at me for permission, and I shrug. The two of them go off together, and I find myself a place to sit

I open up my Instagram. Nico has put up a picture of Ginevra at his place, playing video games, as his story. She’s laughing, and looking at her hurts my fucking heart.

But I cannot be with her. I cannot..

“Hey, let’s go.” Nua whispers, getting back and I give her a small smile. She insists on paying for her own clothes, but I would be no gentleman, a no good fance if I let her spend her own money. I don’t love her, I don’t think I ever could, but if this is how it has to be for the rest of our lives, we have to be good to each other.

I take her home, and she invites me inside for a cup of coffee. I say hello to her mother. She has a black eye. Her husband beats her. No one says it, but everyone knows it. Nua’s father is a cruel man. An evil man. I am an evil man, too. But I would never hit a woman.

Nua has made more baked goods for me. She’s always doing something for me. Cooking. Making drawings. Sending me weird memes and making gifs of my face. It would be cute if 1 loved her. If I even liked her. But I can’t bring myself to see her that way. I’ve tried. But I can’t.

I eat some of the croissants she has made, then leave to the Central. On my way, I pass by Mariano’s office. His door is ajar. When he spots me, he calls me inside.

“Where have you been?” He asks.

I grit my teeth. Sometimes he drives me so mad. “Out with the girl you’re forcing me to marry.”

He sighs, loudly. “Fratello, I know you d

don’t love her. But sometimes you have to put the family before yourself.”

I nod. Its true. He’s right. Thats what I’ve been telling myself. Papa and Mama had their marriage arranged, and they are happy together. Luca had his marriage arranged. And Zio Sergio married some girl he had never met last year. I know things aren’t good right now. The rivalry with the Russians has cost us a lot of money, and this alliance with the Spanish will prove beneficial.

When I had been given the choice to join my brother in the mata I had agreed ecstatically. I was going to be just like Mariano. I knew it wasn’t going to be all fucking girls and killing people and the glitz one might have expected. It was going to be hard work, blood work, sacrifice. I had known, but….……..

“It isn’t fucking fair.

Maybe I wasn’t meant to be with the woman I loved. I had loved Sienna, and then she had left. And I was falling for Ginevra, and now I couldn’t fucking

keep her because of my asshole brother. Because of the fucking mafia. Fuck this. Fuck it all. I have half a mind to leave.

“You got to marry for love.” 1 shouted. “Emilio married for love! He married a fucking Russian, for fuck’s sake. And now you’re keeping me from the woman 1 love, making me marry some child I don’t even know.”

“You will get to know her, Dante.” Mariano rubs his temple. “I’m sorry, but this is how it has to be.”

I walk out, unable to look at him without punching him in his fucking face.

Fuck

I’m so facked.

The night of the party I get dressed and head to Mariano’s place in my car. If I’m gonna get through this without any drama, I need some fucking booze. I’ve kept a flask of whiskey in the pocket of my jacket. 1 take a long swig before entering his house.

When I arrive, I see Isabelle. She’s wearing a long blue dress and is telling her kid something.

“Hir” She says when she spots me. Leo makes grabby hands at me, and I pick him up. He plays with my hair while I talk to Isabelle.

“You look nice!” She compliments. “Nua will love it.”

I grunt in response. “I guess.”

“Why didn’t you come together? It’s your engagement we are celebrating.”

“She’s perfectly capable of sitting in a car by herself.”

“You’re so unromantic.” She rolls her eyes.

Fucking Mariano, keeping her in the dark like this. It’s obvious she doesn’t know what’s happening. Maybe I should tell her. She would never let this happen. That woman has my brother wrapped around her fucking Enger.

No.

I cannot be so fucking selfish.

“Nua is here!” Isabelle exclaims, and I turn around to see Nua on her father’s arm. When she sees me, she smiles at me expectantly. I begrudgingly go to her side. Ginevra would look like a vision in the dress Nun is wearing right now. And she’d wear her hair up, to show off the necklace I gave her. She looks so stunning when she wears it. Like an angel. An angel that belongs to me. Mine. Mine. Mine.

“You look nice.” She says. “You too.”

She had been expecting more. A gorgeous. A beautiful. A stunning.

I cannot say it to her. I can’t bring myself to.

I shake hands with her father, and greet her mother. Luckily, Isabelle and Mariano swoop in, so I drag myself away to the bar.

I need a stronger drink.

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